When the rain comes down
by Katharen Silver
Summary: Even from the warm safety of her apartment Ziva couldn't escape the chill that came as she ran her fingers gingerly over the half healed scars on her stomach and sides. A haunting memory of long nights and endless days that she had spent in his company.
1. Prolog

A/N: This is my first fanfic story ever, so I hope you all enjoy it. Review's are always appreciated.

Disclaimer: I, sadly, own nothing but the story line.

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_0500 A month after the teams return from Somalia, in Ziva's apartment._

A screaming alarm bouncing off the bedroom walls pulled Ziva from the emptiness of sleep. Her body tensed instantly in fear of things that had passed weeks before. It took several seconds before she could force herself to relax, slowing her breathing intentionally and willing the tremors passing through her to stop. Surprise filtered through her as she realized that for the first time in months her alarm had woken her instead of the endless nightmares or worse.

With a sigh Ziva climbed out of bed and donned on her running clothes. Even from the warm safety of her apartment she couldn't escape the chill that came as she ran her fingers gingerly over the half healed scars on her stomach and sides. Each of them a haunting memory of long nights and endless days that she had spent in Saleem's company.

Almost a month had passed since her rescue, and yet she still had not uttered a word to any one on the team about what had happened to her there. She had tried to keep as much of the details of her physical injuries from them as possible. Especially from Tony, though she often saw him watching her, and suspected that he had seen the way she could not quite hold herself still in any position for to long with out that ache returning.

Perhaps it was, as her psychologist insisted, a mistake to keep something so painful to herself. Yet she could not bring herself to tell them. Part of her twisted in fear of their reactions, and part of her just wished she could forget it. That somehow she could erase the events of the last six months by keeping her unintentional vow of silence.

Ziva grabbed her keys and her sig on her way out, pausing only to glance out the window. The sky was still a deep grey, and the sun was no where to be seen. The heavy rain from the night before had slowed to a soft sprinkle. Yet she could see from the clouds that the rain would not end today. Strapping her sig to her side Ziva unlocked her apartment and headed down the stairs to begin her run. Her fingers brushed unconsciously across the sig that she never allowed herself to be without, not during her five am runs, not at work, and not in the middle of the night when she awoke from her tormenting dreams.

Once outside it took only seconds for the cool rain to soak through her clothes and onto her skin. The cold chill felt good against her flushed face and arms. These early morning runs were the last piece of her past that remained undamaged by the events of the last year, with the slight exception of her carrying her sig with her, they were as they had always been. Cool and calming. Now it was the only time that she allowed herself to relax. The only time that she felt free of all the things that she new she would never really escape.

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_0700 That morning, in the bullpen._

She was late again, and this time Gibbs just may kill her.

Ziva rushed out of the elevator doors the moment they began to open. She sighed in relief to see that McGee was the only one there. He looked up and smiled as she sat down at her desk, and offered her his regular sweet greeting. Ziva smiled and responded with the most pleasant and sincere "good morning" that she could manage.

With a twinge of guilt she saw Mcgee's smile falter slightly, if only for a second, before he began asking how her night had been. The scene was a repeat of yesterday and the day before. She always expected Tim to, what was it? Call her out? Yes, to call her out on her poorly hidden facade, but he never did, and for that she was greateful.

"Where is Gibbs?" Ziva asked carefully glancing around the room, half expecting for him to appear behind her as he often did. Mcgee chuckled.

"Don't worry Ziva, Tony is much later than you, and Gibb's has been up in mtac for almost an hour so he may not even notice."

"Notice what McGee?" Gibbs asked as he approached the bullpen holding a steaming cup of coffee.

"Um..." Tim began glancing up at Ziva.

"That Tony isn't here yet," Ziva finished for him, shooting Tim a small smile.

Gibbs lightly smacked Ziva in the back of the head as he passed her, and a moment later placed another slightly harder smack to Tim's head.

"Thats for being late again," Gibbs said simply pointing to Ziva, then turing to Tim added, "and you for trying to cover for her."

Mcgee smiled sheepishly over at Ziva who also wore a small smile.

The phone on Gibbs' desk began to ring and it ended all conversation.

"Tony went to get Abby," Gibbs informed them surprising both agents, as he hung up the phone.

"Where is Abby?" Ziva asked softly a strangled fear creeping up into her chest.

Gibbs hearing the change in Ziva's voice paused to look up at her. "She couldn't get her car started this morning. Tony is getting her from her apartment."

Ziva released a breath of air that she didn't realize she had been holding. She lowered her head to continue with the mountain of paper work spread out before her, ignoring the feeling of their eyes watching her carefully, weighing every movement she made.

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_1100 The bullpen and outside Abbys lab._

"Where are they?" Gibbs barked the moment he entered the bullpen.

Ziva flinched startled by his rather loud entrance. She glanced at Tony and McGee's empty desks and shrugged.

"I don't know...but i will go find them," Ziva added quickly seeing the dark look on Gibb's face.

Ziva paused outside Abby's lab, as Abby's rather irritated voice rang out. "Come on Tony."

"It's been a long summer." Tony said calmly his voice holding only the slightest trace of irritation.

"You can not tell me you havn't noticed, because I know you have." Abby insisted her voice softening slightly. "Something is wrong, but she wont tell us what it is."

"Its been a long summer," Tonny repeated.

"but..."

"No Abbs."

"Tony, McGee has noticed it to, havn't you Mcgee?"

"Tony I hate to admit it but Abby's right, Ziva is still hiding something, she isn't acting like her." Mcgee said slowly and carefully, obviously trying to avoid irritating either of his compainons.

"She's being very un Zivaish."

"It has been a very long summer, especially for her," Tony snapped.

"I know, Tony." Abbys voice was suddenly very quiet, and all traces of irritation seem to have disappeared to be replaced by worry, "i'm just worried about her. She seems so.."

"broken," Mcgee finished for her.

Ziva sliped back down the hall unseen, and to the elevator, she did not want to hear anymore.

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_1300 That afternoon._

"Abby hasn't seen her boss." Tony said hanging up the phone.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked for the second time in less than a minuet.

"Almost...Got it. She is still in the navy yard." Mcgee said sounding surprised.

"Find her!" Gibbs snapped as they scrambled out of the bullpen.

_Outside on a small bench at that moment._

The soft sprinkle of rain began to fall harder down on her, but she did not make any move to return to the warmth of the building. Ziva felt cold all over, inside and out, and she knew it had little to do with the chill of the Autumn rain and wind.

The tears that had been flowing down her face were mixed with the cold rain, now untraceable.

Tony let out a sigh in relief when he saw her. Even finding her sitting in the pouring rain was better than not finding her at all. As he approached he hesitated for a moment. She was almost perfectly still, and judging by her soaked clothing she had been sitting out here for a while. He had only been outside for a few minuets and he was already cold, he knew she had to be freezing.

"Ziva?" He said gently as he approached her not wanting to scare her.

She didn't respond, but as he came closer she looked up at him. Her face was pale but her cheeks were flushed. Her face was damp, and only her red eyes gave way that it was not just from the rain.

"Ziva?"

"McGee is right, Tony. I am broken."

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	2. Horse shoes and hand grenades

A/N: It's short I know, and I'm sorry, but it will be crucial later on.

Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing but the story line.

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"McGee is right, Tony. I am broken." Her voice shook betraying the turmoil twisting inside her in a way that her carefully controlled face did not. "I am broken, and I do know how to fix it. I don't even know if I can be fixed."

Before Tony could even think of what to say tears spilled down her damp face. Ziva buried her face in her hands as she tried to regain control of her emotions, but her shoulders began to shake with her soundless sobs. Ziva felt the shame burn in her chest, just as the tears burned her eyes. She was raised to be stronger than this, but perhaps Gibbs was right, the perfect soldier and assassin died in Africa, the question was what else inside her died with it.

Tony watched one of the strongest people he knew fall apart before him. She was trying to control herself, trying to be strong, but her entire body had begun to shake. In a way he was glad to see it, he knew that even Ziva couldn't simply push what had happened aside. No matter how much she wished she could. He dropped to his knee's in the wet grass, it immediately soaked through his dark jeans to his skin sending another cold chill through him. Tony ignored the cold and placed his hands lightly on her knee's. "Ziva look at me."

She didn't recoil from his touch, but she also didn't make any move to do as he asked. Without taking his eyes from her hidden face he slowly rubbed light circles on her knee's. She had stopped shaking, but he suspected she had not yet stopped crying. Her breathing was still jagged, and so he waited.

Time seemed to pass both of them endlessly. They had been sitting for hours or maybe only seconds. Tony's soft slow circles never stopped, and his eyes never left her. Seeing her this way made him want to pull her into his arms and hold her, but he knew she couldn't deal with that. Not yet. So he remained where he was until her breathing slowed, to steady slow breaths before saying gently, "Please Ziva, look at me."

Ziva managed to stop the sobs, but the tears took longer. It was almost impossible to stop them raining down her face. She could feel Tony in front of her, his fingers making tiny circles on her knees as he tried to comfort her. He sat silently as she gathered her self before he spoke again. She had ignored his request the first time, knowing that the tears were still fresh and her sobs uncontrolled. Now, however she took a deep shaky breath and looked up at him, slowly lowering her hands from her face praying that the tears would not start again.

Her failed attempt to mask the anguish haunting her face, was more of a tell than she would ever know, but Tony knew. He knew her. So as she lowered her hands he reached up taking both of them in his, and starred up at her a knot tightening in his chest.

Ziva's hands were like ice, and it was all he could do not to drag her back inside before she got phenomena from the cold. He knew that she would go with him without a fight, but starring into her deep brown eyes that were red and splotchy, he knew she needed more than simple warmth. McGee was right there was something inside her that had fallen apart or ripped from her, but it was gone just the same. She was not the same person he had met four years ago, he knew that NCIS had something to do with that. They had changed her, but she had made that change willingly. This had been forced on her. For all her control and strength he could see the fear and pain from the last few months dancing in her eyes, and he wanted more than anything to make it go away.

He almost told her then. What he had avoided telling her for almost four years. What he thought whenever she walked into a room, or when she walked out. She was everything he never knew he needed until she came into his life. He almost told her, but instead he gently brushed her dark curls from her face. He knew that they were being held against her cheek by tears and rain, and he almost told her so. Almost.

"You are not broken, Ziva." Tony whispered his voice unsteady. "Bruised, maybe, but not broken."

She wanted to believe that he was right, and starring into Tony's soft eyes burning with intensity, she almost did. Almost.

"Let us help you, Ziva. Let me help you." He begged his voice uncharacteristically low, as his grip on her hands tightened protectively.

A flash of half blacked out memories passed in front of her eyes, and Ziva almost told him. She almost told him about the nightmares, the scars, and the pain. She almost told him why she always had lights on in her house, and why she carried her sig with her everywhere. Why in the early morning or late at night she would sit and hold the gun tight to her chest because she didn't know what else to do. Ziva almost told him the truth about the life she had led in the last few months, and how even now she knew that she had not really escaped it. She almost told him the truth, but almost only counts in horse shoe's and hand grenades.

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	3. Chilled to the heart

Chapter Three: Chilled to the heart

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Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, because if I did Jenny wouldn't be dead, and Tony and Ziva would have hooked up already. (And being undercover doesn't count) =)

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Let us help you, Ziva. Let me help you." Tony begged his voice uncharacteristically low, as his grip on her hands tightened protectively.

Something passed in her eye's, but was gone a second later. She dropped her eyes from his, to stare at their hands, almost as if she was surprised to find them intertwined.

The slight tingle in her hands as they warmed in his was almost as disconcerting as the intensity of Tony's stare as he watched her in silence. He was waiting, she knew, for a response to his offer, but what could she say? She only had two choices, to lie or to tell him the truth. Ziva was tiered of the endless lying but wasn't ready to face the truth. Not here, with them like this.

"Ziva," his said gently. His breath was hot against her skin and sent chills racing through her.

When she finally made herself look up she expected a joke or teasing remark, but it never came. Instead she met his eyes that promised more than his simple physical desire, and she felt her heart collide with her chest, as the fear of something much more complicated than the pain she had endured in Africa, filled her. Instinctively she looked away and pulled her hands from his. Allowing the barrier's she had long ago made for herself to come crashing back down. He released her hands without a fight but didn't move to put any space between them.

Tony allowed his hands to drop to his lap when she pulled her hands away, but he remained still, and continued to stare at her waiting for her to speak.

Without his touch Ziva felt the cold wind nip at her, and she crossed her arms across her chest suddenly aware of how cold she really was. When she spoke her voice was quite but even, "we should go inside."

Tony sighed but nodded, pulling himself to his feet he offered her a hand. Ziva starred at it for a long moment before sliding her hand into his carefully. He half expected for her to let go, once she stood, but instead she allowed him to lead her back toward the building her hand still in his. As they crossed the yard Ziva moved closer to Tony, and he realized she had begun to tremble from the cold. He wanted to put his arm around her, and six months ago he would have, but things were different now. They were different now. So instead he pulled his cell phone from his pocket and hit McGee's speed dial.

"Probie," Tony barked into the phone when the quiet voice on the other end answered. "I found her, but she looks like an ice cube. You better get her some warm and dry clothes, Abby can help

you."

He gave her hand a small squeeze as he began ordering McGee around, despite herself Ziva smiled, knowing that even though irritated by Tony, McGee would do everything that Tony told him to do.

The second number he dialed, was Gibbs, who Tony gave no orders to, but instead said "yes boss" to several times in quick succession in response to whatever Gibbs had said to him. Their fast pace back toward NCIS suddenly slowed, while Tony listened to whatever Gibb's was telling him. Though she could not hear the second half of the conversation it was obvious that Tony was carefully trying to conceal any reaction to it. Which only served to make Ziva curious as to what the older agent was saying. The conversation ended with, "I understand," and a hang up.

Tony who a second ago, had been almost dragging her across the navy yard back toward NCIS, was now purposely walking slowly. Ziva had to slow so that she wasn't dragging him behind her. After a moment of chilly silence, Ziva glanced up at Tony's blank face.

"What did Gibbs say?"

Tony smirked, but she knew him well enough to recognize that it was forced. "You know Gibbs. Is she alright? Get her back here now, get her warmed up. You get warmed up, because neither of you have permission to be sick."

Ziva could tell there was more to it, and would have probed deeper, but they had reached the front doors, and Abby and McGee were waiting for them with towels and fresh clothes. Although Abby fussed over getting Ziva changed quickly, Ziva noticed the worried look that passed between her three companions, before being ushered by the arm into the nearest women's bathroom. Abby continued her non stop talking as Ziva quickly got dressed into the dry jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Abby's tirade stopped only when Ziva placed a hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"Abby, what is it that Gibbs is trying to keep me from hearing?"

"What? Why would you think that Gibbs was keeping something from you? You know Ziva keeping secrets is never a good idea, because if you forget who your keeping the secret from and then accidentally tell someone who tells them then..."

"Abby."

Abby fell silent. For several seconds she just starred at Ziva trying to work out what to say. Then finally she sighed and muttered. "Someone from Mossad just arrived looking for you. Gibbs wanted you to get dried off and then Tony is suppose to take you home."

Ziva dropped her piercing gaze from Abby, and looked instead to the mirror. Her dark curls were twisted and her face was pale under a soft pink flush. All traces of the bruises on her face were gone, and despite her pale complexion she looked normal again. Yet it was not what had changed physically that kept her up late at night, she had changed, and because of that her time with Mossad was over. Names raced through her head, of who her father may have sent to try and retrieve her. None of them were anyone she wanted to see or speak to.

"They are trying to look after you, Ziva. You know how protective Gibbs can be." Abby insisted miss reading Ziva's silence.

"I know," Ziva said gently surprising her friend. "I will go home with Tony."

Abby bit back the smile that threatened to appear, and let Ziva's slip go. She knew Tony would have corrected Ziva, but if it got her to leave quicker, Abby would let it go. Besides she didn't really want to explain the double meaning behind what her friend had just said, any more than Ziva would want to hear it.

* * *

"I though I would take you home," Tony announced as she appeared out of the bathroom a few minuets later. Tony had also changed into dry clothes, and now stood leaning against the wall wearing jeans and a jacket. "We will both probably need some meds, so we don't get a cold from being out in the rain."

Ziva nodded, and took her bag from him when he offered it to her.

"By medicine, you mean coffee."

"Actually I was thinking tea, but coffee sounds much better."

Ziva felt a twinge of curiosity. If Tony was willing to drink tea, then he must really want to get her out of the building, and fast. Again a handful of names rushed through her mind, and she wondered who it was they were trying to keep from finding her. She let it slide however, opting instead to bid both McGee and Abby goodnight and follow Tony to the elevator.

The doors had almost closed when she saw him, and time seemed to slow as she felt her heart stop in her chest. She wanted to look away, but her eyes remained fixed on him as he got closer to the elevator doors. He was walking towards them arguing angrily and loudly with Gibbs and the director. When he saw her he stopped eyes glued on hers. The surprise was quickly replaced with rage, and Ziva felt the heat of his anger graze her skin as the elevator doors closed leaving him and the others behind. It was only then that Ziva felt her heart begin to beat again now painfully fast.

Tony watched her carefully, expecting a reaction that never came. They reached the ground floor in silence. The elevator door binged and opened to allow them out into the parking garage. He stayed close beside her his hand grazing her side as he lead her in silence to an unmarked government car. He opened and closed her door for her, before climbing in the drivers seat. A year ago he knew he would have received some teasing remark, but today she was to tiered, to shaken to do anything more than give him a small smile. Ziva didn't need to ask why they were using an unmarked car. Even if Abby had not told her, seeing him was answer enough. They were silent until after Tony had driven off the base, leaving NCIS and the navy yard behind them.

"You are not taking me home," Ziva guessed her voice deathly still.

"No." He admitted.

"We can not go to your apartment, they will know where it is."

"We aren't going to my apartment either, Ziva."

"Then where are we going?"

"The director booked us a hotel for the weekend, under assumed names just in case they do try to track us down."

She was silent for several seconds before she asked, "did you know he was coming, before you talked to Gibbs?"

"No."

"Tony?"

Tony glanced up at her, and was surprised to see almost her entire body was turned to face him and her arms folded across her chest, and a careful mask hiding emotions that he couldn't even guess.

"Why is my father here?"

He glanced at her quickly as they melted into the D.C traffic. "I don't know Z, but I'm sure its not a good thing."

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A/N: Didn't see that one coming did you? lol. Thank you everyone that has reviewed, it makes me very happy! The next chapter is coming soon so stay tuned...


	4. That same old song

A/N: Thank you all who have reviewed. Reviews make authors write faster =) So stay tuned for the next chapter, and as always let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, I just wish i did.

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Eli David watched as the elevator doors closed. She had been standing close beside DiNozzo, the two almost touching. Ziva had been starring out of the elevator watching them approach with a mask of fear and shock, but the man's eyes had been fixed on her, only noticing them when he followed her gaze. Eli had seen that look a hundred times, and he had long ago resigned himself to the fact that Ziva looked far to much like her mother for her own good. Yet he had never wanted to kill a man for looking at her that way, until he had met Tony DiNozzo.

"Where is he taking her?" Eli demanded turning on Gibbs.

The director answered quickly and tactfully. "They are both being sent home for the day, agent DiNozzo isn't taking her anywhere Eli."

It was easy to see the lie in Vance's eyes, he didn't even try to hide it.

"Come Eli, we still have things to discuss." Vance continued leaving Gibbs and Eli standing starring at the elevator closed elevator doors.

Vance knew that Gibbs would keep Eli from following them, and this way it would appear that he trusted Eli to follow of his own volition.

Once Vance was out of ear shot, Gibbs leaned into Eli David and with a small grin and whispered. "They are going on a romantic getaway somewhere you will never find them."

Eli's eyes snapped up. He knew that Gibbs was playing him, but it didn't stop the surge of anger that came with the very thought of them together. Of his daughter choosing the American.

Gibbs smirked seeing Eli react the way he had wanted. He knew that if he could keep Eli from going after them, it would give them more time, and that once out of D.C it would be almost impossible for Mossad to find them. Yet despite his own jest, Gibbs knew there was more truth to his words than even Eli could understand, whether or not he approved of their would be relationship was no longer an issue. Keeping her safe was. He would deal with them breaking rule twelve later.

* * *

It had been over an hour since one of them had last spoken. The silence wasn't cold, it was just that neither of them knew what to say. Yet as night began to fall around them the tension that had been building since their flight from NCIS had begun to suffocate them.

Tony's eyes were fixed on the road before him, he refused to allow himself to glance up at her, afraid that he might not look away if by some miracle he caught her eyes. Yet even without looking he was acutely aware of her stiff position beside him, as she starred out the passenger window. He wanted to say something, anything, that would break the silence between them, but for once couldn't think of what to say.

"Tony," her soft voice startled him, and he glanced up before he could think better of it.

She was still starring out the window. Her arms folded across her chest tightly, he would have called it a perfect impersonation of a statue, if it wasn't for the slight trembling that she was fighting to keep hidden.

"Where are we going?"

Tony smiled, and began to mimic a badly played banjo. Ziva frozen face broke into a smile, remembering the first time she had asked what boondocks meant. It had been on one of her least favorite cases at NCIS, Tony and McGee had made that irritating noise for almost an hour before Gibbs lost his patience, and silenced them both. Now Tony began it again, and through the reflection in the glass she could see him bobbing up and down in his seat. Ziva had to bite on her lip to keep from laughing, but couldn't stop the spread of the smile.

"Gibbs?" She asked not needing to explain.

"Yea, he figures Mossad will have one hell of a time looking for you out here. Anyone would have a hard time looking for you out here."

"There is almost no cell service," she said softly, remembering how she had been forced to stand on a chair in her hotel room, when Jenny had called to ask about the case.

"I'm guessing none at all, but Gibbs wants us to shut our phones off anyway."

"Why have we not...You are waiting for him to call." Ziva realized mid sentence.

"He's going to tell us how bad it is."

"My father is here Tony, I can not see how it could be worse."

Tony was silent for a moment, and Ziva turned to look at him. His face was completely unshielded and she was surprised by the fear she saw there.

"It could be worse Z. We don't know if he is here to bring you home, or just to find you."

A cold chill passed through both of them.

"I had thought of that," she admitted softly after a moment. "When I saw him today, I could not help but wonder if there is a difference. He will insist that he simply wishes for me to return home, but if I return to Israel with him Tony, I will be as good as dead."

"We arn't going to let that happen Ziva," Tony said his voice hardening.

Ziva nodded, because she knew it was what he needed her to do, but the weight in her chest disagreed. She knew Eli, knew what lengths he would go to get what he wanted. How many times had she seen him obsess over a mark. The irony was not lost on her. That for all her life she had trained to be the perfect weapon for him, in the hopes that one day it would be enough, but it was not until she had walked away that he had shown any interest in her. Now that she was the mark, he wanted her, and Ziva couldn't push aside that gnawing fear that it may not matter what any of them did.

* * *

"Yea boss," Tony answered softly on the first ring of his cell phone.

"How is she?" Gibbs asked immediately.

"She drifted off about an hour ago, but she's shaken up. Not that she will admit it."

Tony heard the older agent chuckle softly.

"Boss," Tony hesitated and glanced at his sleeping companion. Even asleep she still wasn't at peace. She was still fighting, and Tony realized with a rush of sadness that she never relaxed, never felt safe.

"DiNozzo, she will be alright."

"I'm not sure she will, even if we can keep her safe."

"If?"

"She doesn't think we can do it, and I'm not sure we can either."

There was silence for a long moment on the other end, and Tony almost wished he hadn't said anything at all.

Then Gibbs' voice said "what would you do Tony, to keep her safe?"

Tony was startled not only by the question but by the use of his real name. There was a strange carefulness to the older agents voice, that Tony had never heard before.

"I'd do anything." Tony admitted slowly, wondering if he was earning a years worth of head slaps with one sentence.

"Then she will be safe."

It wasn't until he had already hung up that Tony realized what Gibbs had said. The fact that Gibbs was worried about her to, should have been disconcerting, but instead it was a comfort. Gibbs was right, they were going to take care of her.

His eyes slid back to the sleeping figure beside him. Yes they would take care of her, whether she liked it or not.


	5. Whispers

**Chapter five: Whispers**

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Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, just my computer and a bunch of crazy ideas.

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When Gibbs walked into her lab at almost eleven at night Abby jumped up from her seat beside McGee.

"Are they ok?" She asked immediately.

"They will be Abbs."

Abby planted her feet and stood starring up at Gibbs with tears swelling in her eyes even as she angrily said, "we can not lose her again, Gibbs, we can't let Eli David take her away from us. We won't."

"Abby,"

"Because if he gets his grimy paws on her then she will end up somewhere like Somalia again, Gibbs, and we just can't let that happen. I don't think that she can..."

"Abby!" Gibbs said touching her arm and silencing her. "I am not letting Eli David take Ziva anywhere."

"Promise me," her voice shook leaving no doubt of the fear that was showing plainly on her face.

Gibbs leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her head, "we are going to protect her Abbs."

Abby relaxed, for the moment appeased that her ninja best friend would be safe from her Mossad father.

"Boss," McGee said softly. "Did they make it?"

"Do you think I'd been down here if they hadn't McGee?"

"Um...well no, boss I guess not."

Gibbs shook his head exasperated by the younger agent already, before glancing back at Abby.

"Abbs, I need you to do something."

"Whatcha need Gibbs?"

"Can you make a computer lie, Abbs?"

Abby grinned and turned back to her equipment. "I like where you're going with this Gibbs."

* * *

Vance sat alone in his office waiting. It was getting late, his wife had already called, and he had told her not to wait up. Almost everyone was gone from the building, so the silence echoed through empty halls. His head was pulsing promising the migraine he had foreseen earlier that day. The world outside had long ago turned dark and the lights in his office were dimmed leaving him in an almost black office. He sat silently in his own world of darkness, waiting.

Eli had stayed at NCIS until almost nine that night, arguing about Ziva. The man was, as always persistent, but this time he also seemed almost desperate. Yet even if Vance had been able to make the decision as Eli seemed to think he could, he would not send her back, not after all she had been through.

If Ziva wanted to stay he would do all he could to keep her. She was a good agent, and would make a good citizen, but that was not his only reason. Vance had spent almost a year coming to understand Gibbs and his unique team, and after that time he was left with no illusions about what would happen if Mossad tried to take Ziva back by force, or if he decided to simply give her back to them.

For better or worse her team would die long before they let anything happen to her. Each of them had proved that in a hundred ways in the last six months, and as much as it might be problematic for him, there was no way around it.

Ziva David would stay as long as she wanted, it was far from simple, but it was a fact.

There was only one way to keep this from blowing up, and if that didn't work he was going to have an international incident sitting in his lap.

The call was expected, and so was the voice on the other end.

"I'm glad you returned my call," Vance said softly. "I need to call in that favor you owe me."

* * *

Ziva wasn't sure what woke her. The lights above her, or Tony's soft voice saying her name over and over again. Her grip on her sig lessened slightly as she opened her eyes, to see Tony's smiling face watching her.

"We're here sweet cheeks."

Ziva smiled still drowsy from her light nap.

It wasn't until she began to move that Tony noticed her cradling her sig like a precious gem. Ziva didn't even seem aware of it, but Tony watched her climb from the car her fingers brushing along the gun seeking something that she couldn't find anywhere else. It was hard to believe that his unbreakable ninja partner was broken, but as he realized that even with her gun pressed against her body she didn't feel completely safe Tony couldn't help but wonder just how much she had kept from them. He knew something was wrong, but just how shaken was she? How broken? And what had happened to her in Africa that had left her like this.

"Where are we?" Ziva asked stifling a yawn as she looked around the almost deserted car park.

She met his eyes only for a second, and was surprised by the jagged emotions passing through them. He was watching her as if seeing her for the first time, and Ziva shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

"Where are we?" Ziva asked again as she turned away from him.

Even with her back to him, she could feel the weight of his eyes on her, and it sent a chill down her spine and to her stomach. Silently she hoped he would speak so she did not have to turn to him and face his eyes again. It was cowardly, and foolish, but she still waited in silence hoping that he would break the growing silence.

"Stillwater." Tony said softly.

His voice was closer than she had realized making her flinch. She regretted it instantly and tried to cover it by turning to him and smiling.

"Where is that?" Ziva asked with fake humor.

Tony was still watching her closely. His face was concealed behind a mask of stillness, for a moment Ziva thought she saw pain pass in his eyes but it was gone a second later, leaving her to wonder if she had imagined it.

When he smiled she could see the effort that made it appear light hearted, and his laughter as he teased her about not recognizing the name was empty, but she went along with it as if she hadn't noticed.

It wasn't until Tony had turned away from her and started toward the front doors that Ziva realized they were lying again. The sadness that washed through her at this realization was stronger than she expected.

"Are you coming?" Tony asked pausing on his way to the front doors.

"Yes," Ziva said quickly, pushing the pain in her chest aside, and following him through the lobby doors and into the little bread and breakfast.

"How far away are we?" Ziva asked, forcing her voice to remain natural, as they approached the counter

"You don't even want to know." Tony said with a small grin, "but its home for the next few days."

"What is our cover?"

Tony stopped long enough to shoot a teasing smile at her, "out of town honeymooners."

She starred after him for a long moment in shock. When she recovered Ziva hurried up to the counter beside him hoping that he was kidding. He wasn't…

* * *

Her apartment had been deserted, not that he had expected to find her there. Eli had warned him that she was probably long gone by now, and the old man had been right. He doubted Ziva had even returned here after she and the American left NCIS. There was another team at DiNozzo's house, but he knew they too would find nothing. His prey was in the wind, but he would find them.

He ran a hand lightly over her kitchen counter, she had been in America for almost three months and yet the house seemed unlived in. Perhaps she had been spending all her time somewhere else. It would be worth looking into, though he doubted it was a lover, a friend maybe.

Yet even if they found such a place, they could not simply search every house that she may or may not have been in. There was a limit to how much they could do on American soil, especially when the director of NCIS was watching them. Gibbs and his team would also pose a problem. The marine would not simply turn her over, but they will find her, and they will bring her home one way or another.

* * *

A/N: Ok so that's a sort of creepy place to leave this chapter, but I hope you all like it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I love reviews they make me happy, and so does constructive criticism. So please review and as always enjoy.

Oh and I have cookies for anyone who can correctly guess who is helping Vance and who is helping Eli...=)


	6. Still as the ocean

A/N: Thank you everyone who has reviewed, I am amazed at how many reviews I have, and I am glad you are all enjoying my story. This chapter is just for Tony and Ziva, they needed one to themselves. There will probably be another before to long, but for now enjoy a little Tiva. =) And I feel the need to apologize a head of time, the next chapter is probably not going to be up for at least a week...I know shame...and I'm sorry...I actually have the next chapter done, but I am going to spit it into two. First because it is crazy long, and second because its a little intense. Okay a lot intense...so please forgive me for the delay. All I can say is it will be well worth the wait. Promise.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, although I wish I did, sadly I own only these crazy ideas, and if you thought different either you are delusional or you know something that I don't.

* * *

"What is our cover?"

Tony stopped long enough to shoot a teasing smile at her, "out of town honeymooners."

She starred after him for a long moment in shock. Vance would never send them undercover as honeymooners. Why would he? Of course Jenny had but that was a very different situation. It took several seconds for Ziva to recover and follow him, hoping that he was kidding. He wasn't…Or was he?

By the time she caught up with him, Tony was already at the front desk sweet talking the girl behind the counter. Same old Tony, she thought with flush or resentment, towards both him and the pretty blond behind the counter. It didn't seem quite fair that he could remain the same person he had always been, when she had changed so much. Yet she learnt long ago that nothing about life was fair, and to expect it to be was childish at best.

Turning her back on him she focused on the assortment of strange paintings that decorated the walls of the hotel. Most of them seemed to be sporadic colors that had simply been thrown onto the canvas they were all interesting; however the poorly done landscapes hung between them seemed to cheapen the rest.

Ziva was starring at one particularly ugly painting, trying to decide why exactly she could not stand it, when she felt his hand press into the small of her back, as he whispered in her ear, "our room is ready sweet cheeks."

She couldn't have stopped her instinctive reaction even if she had been given an extra moment to think it over and try, she spun around grabbing his wrist and bringing him to his knees in a matter of seconds.

It took longer than it should have, several seconds longer than it had taken to bring him down, before she realized what she had done. Tony never reacted or fought back. He simply remained on one knee in front of her starring up at her eyes burning with concern that would have out done even Abby's.

When she backed away from him, her eyes wide in shame and fear, he was distinctly reminded of a doe caught in the headlights of an approaching car. He had never thought of Ziva as timid until that moment, and wondered if she had always been and simply hidden it behind her mask or if she had become this way after her summer of hell.

Tony stood slowly when she released him, his eyes never leaving her face, even as she starred at the floor between them.

She mumbled what sounded like an apology but Tony brushed it off. She didn't need to apologize, and he would tell her so and he would try to make her believe it. To understand that whatever her reactions to him, to her life, she was not responsible, but not here, it was not a conversation they could have here. So he put it off and gestured for her to follow him to their room. She did so in silence her eyes still set on the strangely colored carpet.

Tony led them up the dark carpeted stairs to the second floor.

When he unlocked the hotel door Ziva realized that he may have been serious about posing as a married couple again, after all.

The room was quaint with pretty blue blankets and a picture of a light house and the seaside hanging above the double bed. The nightstands were a sandy wood color, as was the TV stand, and the desk in the corner. Overall it was a typical suite like any hotel, but the prospect of sharing it with Tony for an undetermined amount of time was daunting to say the least.

Ziva was so focused on trying to compartmentalize her feelings about sharing a room with him that she didn't notice him disappear through a side door, leading to a second bedroom.

"You can have this one if you like, Z." He said quietly watching her jump at the sound of his voice.

Ziva looked up and tried to hide her surprise at seeing the adjoining door wide open with him standing beneath the frame.

"It looks comfortable." She said simply refusing to allow him the satisfaction of knowing she had believed his teasing joke.

Tony smiled, letting the hidden surprise pass without comment.

The two stood in silence for several seconds starring at the ocean themed room. There were so many things that should have filled the silence, and both of them were acutely aware of what was going left unsaid, but neither was brave enough to be the one to start it.

Finally Tony spoke breaking the spell of silence that seemed to have taken over the room.

"We should get some sleep."

Ziva nodded but didn't move from her place near the end of the bed.

"Ziva?" Tony moved towards her but didn't touch her, having learnt his lesson in the lobby, he simply repeated her name a second time.

"Your right Tony we should get some sleep," said a quite voice that didn't quite belong to her and yet was hers.

"Ok, I'm going to leave the adjoining door open, if that's alright?" He tried to keep his voice neutral, but she heard the carefulness and the hidden question within his words.

Ziva nodded, trying to seem unconcerned, but her mind was reeling with having to spend the night in these unfamiliar surroundings. It had taken almost three weeks for her to be able to sleep through the night in her own bed, she wouldn't be able to sleep in either room door open or not.

"Good night Ziva," his voice said, before Tony turned leaving Ziva in the dimly lit hotel room to face herself alone.

* * *

He would never understand how her almost silent sobs woke him from the other room. At first Tony thought he was simply dreaming, but as sleep slipped away and the dark hotel room came into focus he realized what he was hearing was very real.

Tony entered her room almost silently. Ziva was lost in the world of her own nightmares. All her blankets had been thrown to the side as if they had been the ones attacking her.

As much as Tony wanted to lie down beside her he was afraid of what she might do when she woke, if she found someone beside her. So instead he took up a seat at the end of her bed, and began to talk to her.

He whispered things that didn't really matter. Neutral things, that he was sure she would have called little talk. Things such as their last case, the pranks he had played on McGee, Abby's latest favorite band which they had somehow all ended up with tickets for, and how Gibbs and Vance had seemed to reach some sort of understanding about staying out of each other's way.

It could have been minutes, and hour, or half the night but, she finally began to relax.

When he hears her hushed voice whisper his name, he thinks, for a moment, that she had woken, but one look at her face tells him that she is still lost in a dream. She says his name several more times before he speaks to her again.

"I'm here, Ziva."

"Tony." She says a little louder.

"I'm right here Ziva. It's alright I'm here."

He knows the instant she wakes that he was right to sit at the end of her bed and wait. Ziva pulls her sig from under her pillow the moment she realizes someone is close by, but quickly lowers it when she see's his worried face watching her.

She sits silently starring at him her gun lowered but still held tightly in her hands. He stands slowly and moves closer to her. She stiffens but doesn't try to stop him as he sits down inches from her.

"Ziva…"

"What are you doing in here?" she demands angrily.

Ziva shouldn't be angry and she knows it, but her embarrassment and shame is too much to handle, so she snaps at him hoping he will be distracted.

He's not. Tony watches her, his hand's carefully held on his knee's looking at her in a way he never has before.

When he touches her face she flinches, unable to stop herself, the memory of her nightmare still all too fresh in her mind.

"Tell me," he says gently.

She glances at him momentarily surprised by the careful tenderness in his voice.

"I should have asked you a hundred times by now Ziva," he says softly. "I should have pushed a little but I didn't want to hurt you, but by not asking I've hurt you anyway."

He took a deep breath before quickly continuing his eyes never leaving her face. "Tell me what happened to you in Africa, what did they do to you?"

Ziva wasn't sure if she was breathing, or even if her heart was still beating, the only thing she was aware of was the shock and fear pulsing through her simultaneously. When the shock finally dissipated it left only fear, and before she knew it Ziva was moving, away from the bed, away from Tony, away from the question she had been waiting almost a month for him to ask.

She ended up on the terrace that she hadn't noticed the night before. The cool Virginia night wind sent chills through her, but it wasn't the cold that left her shaking.

Ziva felt rather than saw Tony come to her side on the small balcony.

"I didn't expect you to run," he said softly. "I thought you would hit me, or shoot me, but I didn't expect you to run."

Ziva wrapped her arms tightly across her chest and didn't respond.

"Have you told anyone what happened to you over there?"

"I filed the report," Ziva said her voice coolly still.

"You lied in the report Ziva," Tony said simply. "We all knew you did, but we let you. I guess I thought it would be easier on you, we all did, but it wasn't and we should have called you out on it."

Ziva's stiff shoulders lowered slightly. The weight in her chest and on her shoulders seemed endless, and she felt like her trembling would break her apart into thousands of pieces any second.

Tony reached out to take her hand but hesitated. He didn't want to scare her, but she was already shaken, so he simply slid his hand over hers.

"Let me help you," Tony whispered repeating what he had said while they stood in the pouring rain the day before.

"I'm not sure you can."

"Let me try," he pleaded.

Ziva turned to face him, tears brimming in her eyes. This time Tony didn't hesitate he wrapped his arms around her tightly pulling her close to him, he felt her flinch and then relax, which only made him pull her closer and tighten his arms around her, afraid she might pull away or break apart if he let her go.

She was trembling like a leaf, and it took a moment for him to realize she was crying.

Tony lightly ran his fingers through her hair and whispered softly into her hair.

The anger that threaded through him was overwhelming. He knew in that instant that if he ever came face to face with Eli David he would either punch him or shoot him, and that Saleem had died far too easily, but Tony pushed that thought aside quickly before it took him away, and focused on the woman in his arms.

She needed him. He would keep her safe, and he would be there, she would be alright. They would all make sure of it, and he would help her do it, even if he had to carry her the entire way. Ziva David was not broken, he wouldn't let her be.


	7. Safe smiles

A/N: Okay so I am so sorry that it took so long…all I can say is A) I warned you a head of time…and B) these next four chapters will make up for all sore feelings…at least I'm hoping they will. So enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of the characters, I am simply borrowing them for my own amusement and yours too I suppose.

* * *

Ziva had lost her brain, she decided in the darkness of the hotel room. Or was it mind? Yes, she had lost her mind, because it was the only explanation she had for letting this happen. What had she been thinking? But that was the catch wasn't it, she hadn't been thinking. She was an emotional mess, and instead of locking herself away like any sane person would have, she had tried to go on behaving like nothing had happened, like nothing had changed, like she hadn't changed.

Tony moved beside her and Ziva stilled, a soft snore told her he was still asleep and she sighed in relief. Her stomach twisted as emotions clashed against each other. She wanted to be as far away from him as she could, but the thought of leaving his side sent a pulsing ache though her heart. God help her she wanted to lay back down beside him and stay there, but she couldn't. She had to go.

As silently as possible Ziva slid out of the bed and fled to the second hotel room, pausing at the door to glance back at the still sleeping Tony.

The second room was as dark as her own had been, but with the door closed she felt free to switch on the light. It was several moments before her eyes finally adjusted to the sudden brightness of the room.

Glancing at the clock on the wall Ziva sighed it was only two.

She sank to the floor at the end of the bed and starred at the yellow wall across from her. She couldn't avoid it any longer, couldn't act like she was fine. He wasn't going to let her, not after last night.

Bringing her knee's to her chest Ziva took a shaky deep breath and closed her eyes.

_"Let me help you," he said in almost a whisper. _

_The knot in her chest felt like it weighed a hundred pounds, and her voice seemed to have fled her as she struggled to say in a hushed voice, "I'm not sure you can."_

_"Let me try," he begged moving closer to her. _

She couldn't hide the tears in her eyes as she turned to face him; she was going to tell him to leave, to get out and to not come back, but when she met his eyes her voice totally abandoned her, and suddenly his arms were around her.

_The fear that overwhelmed her as his body pressed against hers, was washed away in a second, as her every sense was filled with him. The smell of pine and the warmth of his body brought a safety she didn't recognize. Then she was crying. His arms tightened around her and his fingers brushed through her hair carefully, as he promised to look after her. She knew she would pay for her foolishness, but for that moment Ziva didn't care. She was safe in the arms of someone that cared for her for the first time since she was a child, and she didn't want to leave. _

_She wasn't sure how long they stayed there, but finally the cold drove them back inside and to bed. _

"I know the bed's aren't very comfortable," his voice said startling her, "but they have to be more comfortable than the floor."

Ziva looked up to see Tony standing in the doorway starring down at her.

Without taking her eyes off him, Ziva stood carefully.

Everything about the way she was watching him and the way she was moving was careful. Almost wary.

"Are you alright?" Tony asked gently, ignoring the impulse to go to her side.

"Yes," said an almost silent voice. "Tony…what happened last night was…I should have…"

Tony couldn't help but smile, as Ziva struggled to find the right words.

"Ziva, you were upset I was there for you. There's nothing wrong with letting someone help you sometimes."

"I cried." She said simply.

"There's nothing wrong with that, even for super ninja's."

She dropped her gaze ashamed, "Tony, I cried a lot."

Tony moved slowly enough not to scare her, but he was still before her in only seconds.

"Ziva," he whispered "I'm glad you did."

Ziva tried to hide the startled and slightly hurt feelings that flashed across her face as she looked up at him, but Tony noticed.

He touched her cheek gently, as he said, "even super ninja's need someone they can trust enough to let down their guard. You don't have to be strong for me Ziva, not ever."

Where Tony's finger had run down her cheek Ziva felt lingering warmth, and she had to bite back a small smile. She should run, and run quickly. Going back to Israel with her father was almost preferable to what she was doing, but his eyes held her in place, and she ignored the gnawing fear grasping her heart in its hands.

"I do not need you to take care of me Tony," Ziva breathed almost silently.

He was standing much to close, closer than he needed to be, closer than he should have been, but she couldn't make herself step away.

She stiffened when he touched her arm lightly, but relaxed instantly. "I know you don't need me Ziva, but I want to be here for you."

Ziva opened her mouth and closed it again when she realized she couldn't speak. What the hell was the matter with her? She had never been so shaky around any one, and yet Tony was doing it easily. He had always been able to, but normally she could hold her own. But this was different and she knew it, they both did. They weren't teasing anymore, this was real, and it scared her more than she could have ever expected.

"Come back to bed, Ziva." He said his voice finally breaking.

Her voice was still missing, so she simply nodded and allowed Tony to lead her back into the other room by the hand.

Tony released her hand only long enough for her to slide back under the now cool blankets and for him to climb in beside her. His hand found her own under the covers and grasped it tightly.

"Tony…" she began.

"Go to sleep, Ziva." Tony said rolling onto his side to face her. "We can talk in the morning. Sleep now."

Ziva sighed, and for the second time that night closed her eyes to fall asleep beside Tony.

Tony lay awake long after Ziva's breath evened out into the soft snoring of sleep. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, and pull her against him. The warmth of her body and gentle smell of lavender was intoxicating, but he wasn't sure how she would react if she woke again. So he settled for sliding closer to her and keeping her hand in his.

* * *

For the second time in twenty four hours, Ziva woke to the all too familiar smell of pine surrounding her, and the warmth of his body beside her. This time however was very different from the first.

The first time she had woken in his arms they had been encased in darkness, and Tony was still sleeping soundly beside her. She had been overwhelmed and done the only thing she could think to do, run.

The second time the room was dancing with early morning light through half closed curtains. Her head was on his chest, his shirt was warm under her cheek, and she could hear his heart beating in a slow steady rhythm. Ziva could feel the weight of his arm around her and it was more of a comfort than a burden. The biggest difference however was Tony running his fingers slowly through her hair.

Ziva lay still for several seconds before she couldn't stand it any longer. His tender touch as she lay with her head on his chest was to loving, to intimate, Ziva pulled back and raised her head to face him.

The smile dancing on his lips caught her off guard as did how close her face was to his, having realized to late that he was almost sitting up.

"Ziva," Tony whispered using the last of the air in his lungs.

He hadn't realized she was awake before she moved.

Ziva was frozen, half lying beside him. Her eyes locked on his.

She didn't flinch when his hand gently cupped her face, because she had almost expected it. The fear growing in her chest was forgotten as his lips brushed lightly over hers.

Ziva lent into Tony pressing her lips hard against his as he pulled her closer to him. A loud knock on the door startled them both and Ziva jerked away from Tony. She was out of bed and across the room before he had enough breath to speak.

She lingered by the door without opening for several seconds in silence trying to regain the composure she had foolishly allowed too slip away. Ziva wasn't even sure she wanted to open the door to find out who had found them.

It was Tony's soft voice saying her name as he climbed out of the bed that made her decision. Part of her hoped it was her father who would drag her away, or room service although they hadn't ordered anything, any one but Gibbs would be a blessing.

Ziva swung open the door, to stare at the one person who was almost as bad as Gibbs.

"Didn't my son teach you to check before you open doors, Ziva?" Jackson Gibbs said with a small smirk that made him look just like his son.

Both Tony and Ziva stood frozen starring at the man before them.

"Well are you going to invite me in or not girl?" Jackson barked sounding so much like Gibbs that both agents jumped.

Ziva stepped aside to allow him in, while still trying to register what he was doing at the door.

"Well you better get your things together," Jackson said as Ziva closed the door.

"Are we going somewhere?" Tony asked recovering first.

"Well yea DiNozzo. You're coming home with me."

* * *

The ringing of his phone drew Vance out of his own mind and back to his office at NCIS.

"Hello Leon," said a woman's voice when he answered the phone.

"Do you have what we need?"

"Of course Leon."

"This is fast even for you."

The woman chuckled and said, "it has been arranged, Leon. You still have to convince her."

"I know," Vance said slowly.

"We will arrive in D.C tomorrow night, ten thirty."

"I'll be waiting."

Vance heard the dial tone before he had a chance to hang up. She was the only one that ever seemed to be faster than him, but she was better than all of them. That's how he knew she could do it. Now he just had to do his part, and hope it didn't all come apart in his hands.


	8. Truth and honesty

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, or their characters, except in my dreams but I don't think that counts.

* * *

Ziva and Tony starred at Jackson unsure they had heard him correctly.

"We are going home with you?" Ziva said slowly, it sounded more like a question than a comment and the old man turned and smiled at her.

"You don't really think Leroy would send you all this way and leave you in a hotel do you?" Jackson chuckled. "He told me to come and pick you up this morning, I'm going to make sure that father of yours doesn't find you."

Both agents looked shell shocked, but something about the way Ziva avoided looking at Tony as they gathered their things, made Jackson wonder if it was because he had shown up or if it was more to do with what he had interrupted.

The two were silent as they followed Jackson outside with their bags. Ziva's eyes were set on the cars and she walked stiffly not looking to either side, while Tony's eyes never left his partner.

"DiNozzo, if you want to drive behind me, I'll lead ya to the house."

"Sounds good," Tony said stealing a glance at Ziva, who pointedly ignored him.

"And how about you ride with me Miss David," Jackson said his gaze drifting from one agent to the other.

Ziva agreed quickly, but Tony simply nodded. Yes, he had definitely interrupted something, Jackson thought, it was written all over their faces.

Tony climbed into the car his eyes never leaving Ziva. Jackson had offered her the ride, but Ziva had jumped at the chance. Obviously the thought of being in such a confined space with Tony wasn't one she was happy about.

He hadn't meant for this to happen. Tony had wanted to kiss her for so long, but he hadn't planned for it to happen like this. He had only reached up to brush her hair from her face, and instead had cupped her face, and before he knew what he was doing he had placed a light kiss on her lips. But she had kissed him back damn it. She had lent into him, and had kissed him back.

Ziva and Jackson were in their car, and pulling out of the parking lot, so Tony followed them out and onto the deserted street.

She had kissed him back, and now she regretted it, but he wasn't going to let it go that easily. He had waited to long. There was no way he would lose her that easily. Not again.

* * *

"We've already thrown in some confusion," Abby insisted, "but there has to be something else we can do."

"Yes, I heard about your computer trail," Vance said stiffly.

Eli had all but thrown a fit, when he realized that the plane tickets to L.A had been faked, and had been even more furious, when Vance had refused to acknowledge sending Tony and Ziva anywhere.

Leon had insisted that he had nothing to do with their apparent disappearance, just as Eli insisted there wasn't a small team of Mossad agents roaming the D.C area looking for her. They were both politely lying, and they both knew it, but neither one could call the other out on their lie with out outing themselves. So both men would continue to politely lie until either it fell apart or someone got sloppy.

Privately Vance thought that Abby's fake trail was brilliant but he knew better than to tell her so.

The door clicked open and Vance glanced up surprised. No one except Gibbs had ever just walked into his office, and as Gibbs was already in the room, along with Abby and McGee, so Vance was honestly surprised, at least until he saw her glide into the room.

"Hello Leon." She said simply.

Abby, McGee, and Gibbs stood silently starring. Abby was the first to recover, and she bounded to the woman's side before wrapping her arms around her in a hug.

"Good morning Abigale," Hetty said with a small smile.

"Hetty, Hetty, are you here to help Ziva to?" Abby asked in a rush.

"Yes dear, as best we can." Hetty smiled and patted Abby's hand gently, before turning back to Vance.

Vance smiled despite himself and said, "you're early."

"I thought it would be prudent to discuss your plan for tonight."

"What's happening tonight?" Abby asked immediately.

Vance and Hetty glanced at each other silently. Ideally they would be able to do this without evolving Gibbs or his team, but reality rarely played into ideally and the truth of it was, they needed Gibbs and his team for this to work.

Gibbs moved forward silently. His eyes locked with the director's and Vance nodded.

"I'm calling in a favor, they may be able to help us protect Ziva."

"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to cost us, Leon?" Gibbs asked his eyes still on the director.

Vance didn't bother to hide the sigh.

"Because if she will do it, then it will indeed cost us," Hetty said softly and something about the way she said it made them all wonder what exactly they had gotten into.

* * *

Ziva stiffened when she heard footsteps on the stairs. It was well past midnight but she hadn't been able to sleep, so instead she had retreated downstairs to the shop.

Jackson paused at the bottom of the stairs. Ziva sat starring out a black window into the night with a cup on the table before her. Her entire body was stiff as if she were frozen in place. Leroy was right, she had changed too much since she had last been here; Ziva was shaken now where she had been so sure of herself the last time he had seen her.

His son was set on saving her, but from what he had seen that morning it wasn't Jethro that Ziva wanted to save her. DiNozzo was the one she needed.

"Late night coffee break?" Jackson joked softly as he approached her.

He saw her shoulders relax as she realized it wasn't Tony.

"Tea," said a soft voice.

"I see my son hasn't broken that habit yet." Jackson said sitting down beside her.

She smiled at him, but it was stretched, and he could see in her eyes what it was costing to pretend. Always pretending he realized sadly. Jackson wondered if she had even let herself feel the pain of the last few months or if she had just forced herself to always be this way, even when she was alone.

Jackson touched her hand lightly, and wasn't surprised when she flinched.

Ziva lowered her gaze ashamed that she couldn't make her body stay still when someone touched her. Even someone she knew wouldn't hurt her.

"You don't have to pretend for me kid," Jackson said kindly. "And you don't have to be ashamed of being a little skittish."

When Ziva looked back up there was a weak smile on her lips. Perhaps it was because he reminded her so much of Gibbs, but Ziva felt very comfortable with Jackson beside her.

The two were silent for several minuets before Jackson spoke again, ending the comfortable silence.

"You don't have to pretend for him either, girl. He loves you."

Ziva really smiled this time. "I know, although Gibbs does not say it, I know."

Jackson smiled. "I wasn't talking about Leroy."

Ziva felt the smile slip away and she turned her stare back out the dark window.

She didn't want to talk about it she made it evident from the way she set her shoulders. Jackson knew it wasn't any of his business really, he hardly knew her or DiNozzo, but Leroy loved them both in his own way, and they were both hurting, so Jackson pressed on.

"The people you love and love you deserve your honesty Ziva."

"I have been truthful with them," Ziva snapped as she quietly pushed aside the wave of guilt. Lying by omission might still be lying, but she wasn't going to admit that to anyone including herself.

"Truthful…or honest?" Jackson asked softly.

"It is the same thing is it not?" Ziva said folding her arms across her chest. Hoping the old man would leave it there.

Jackson sighed, he could see the soldier in her taking over. "There is a difference but it only matter's to the people that love you Ziva."

Ziva bit her lip trying to ignore the pang of guilt spreading through her chest.

"Did you report what happened in Africa, or did you tell them?"

"They do not need to hear the details!" Ziva snapped suddenly feeling very cold.

Jackson's voice remained soft as he said, "they want to. So they can help you."

"They rescued me."

"You know that's not what I mean, Ziva." He said gently.

Ziva fell silent and Jackson watched her for several seconds before prodding one more time.

"I never pictured you for a coward."

Ziva's head snapped up suddenly angry, but when she saw his face her anger melted. He looked sad.

"Talk to him kid. He will forgive you if you don't, but you might not be able to forgive yourself if you don't."

Jackson stood and left Ziva to stare out of the dark window. Memories tumbled down on her and she couldn't stop the cascade of questions, fears, and doubts that came with them.

* * *

A/N: Thank you everyone for your review they make me very happy. And of course COOKIES for kingshammer and duma for correctly guessing who was helping Vance. If anyone wants to make a guess for Eli you better do it soon because it's coming soon.


	9. All's fair in Love, War, and Espionage

**Chapter Nine: All is fair in Love, War, and Espionage**

* * *

A/N: Ok so a little bit of self commercialization here so feel free to ignore but…I have a new story coming for everyone who is a fan of The Mentalist, It's called _Red moon rising, _it's a multi chapter fic, and I would love it if you read it and let me know what you think...and ok I'll stop now. But seriously you should check it out?!

Disclaimer: I own the first five seasons of NCIS, and asked for number six for Christmas, but sadly that's as close as I'll probably ever get…

* * *

"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to cost us, Leon?" Gibbs asked his eyes still on the director.

Vance didn't bother to hide the sigh, as he glanced away from Gibbs and to Hetty. They had known that by choosing this path it would bring up certain conflicts, but it was the best he could do for them, and maybe just maybe Ziva would forgive them for that.

"Because if she will do it, then it will indeed cost us," Hetty said softly.

Abby, McGee, and Gibbs all looked from Vance to Hetty. The two seemed to be expecting something and whatever it was, it had both of them worried.

"What aren't you telling us Leon?" Gibbs asked leaning on Vance's desk.

Leon glanced around the room, he wasn't sure telling the entire team was wise, and would have come up with a way to clear the room so he could talk to Gibbs alone if Hetty hadn't interrupted him.

"They need to understand Leon," Hetty said coolly as if she had read his mind. "If this goes south, they will be the ones in the proverbial line of fire."

"You may find the line of fire won't be so proverbial," Leon said shooting Hetty a dark stare. "Not if this goes badly."

"All the more reason to have all of your team fully debriefed."

Leon looked up at his people. Gibbs glared back at him, it was obvious the agent had dug in his heels and wasn't about to leave until he had the answers he wanted. McGee, normally the last one to give Leon trouble wasn't glaring, but stood stiffly his eyes on Vance. McGee wasn't going anywhere any more than Gibbs would. Yet it was Abby's soft voice that convinced him.

"This is Ziva," she said in almost a whisper as if those three words should be the answer to all the questions and doubts racing through his mind, and in a way it was.

"Sit down," Leon said with a small nod at his people and a quick glance at Hetty.

Gibbs, Abby, and McGee sat without question, and Hetty simply smiled.

Slowly Leon began to explain fully expecting their reactions to be anything but good, but he hoped that they to would understand, it was the best that he could do.

* * *

She departed the plane silently pausing only to give one of the flight attendants, a young man who really was much too young for her, a sweet seductive grin. He blushed slightly, pink flushing on his cheeks, making her chuckle.

She had rather enjoyed toying with him during the flight, though she knew it was rather cruel.

The woman hesitated as she entered the crowded airport. Eli had to know she was here already, despite her own efforts to keep it secret she had, had a difficult enough time making it out of Tel Aviv without Mossad interfering. Slowly moving forward and forcing a small smile onto her lips she headed to the nearest exit, glancing through the crowd half expecting to see an agent following her.

Your being paranoid she thought to herself, although in her line of work it wasn't such a stretch. Especially considering her family, and why she was here. Still she had to count on not being found yet. The last thing she needed was to have to subdue one of Eli's men so early into her stay.

As she climbed into a cab she smiled, still it would have been the perfect way to start the war that Eli didn't even know was coming.

* * *

Leon Vance was almost glad when a soft almost inaudible knock on his office door silenced his companions.

Hetty and Vance were the only ones still sitting. Gibbs was pacing angrily, McGee was standing and now glaring at the two sitting figures, and Abby was well, being Abby. The knock not only silenced everyone but it also stilled them.

"Enter," Leon snapped, his patience wearing thin.

His young secretary peeked in warily. She had obviously been able to hear the commotion going on inside his office, and now was afraid her news would set them all off again.

"What is it?" Leon asked trying to soften his voice.

"I'm sorry sir but there's a phone call for you. She says it's urgent."

Leon picked up the phone knowing the voice he would hear on the other end, but not expecting what she said.

"We've had a slight change in plans, Leon." She said coolly.

"What kind of a change?"

Everyone in the room was watching him with piercing eyes, they wanted answers but for now he wasn't giving them.

"A delay."

"You're still in Tel Aviv?" Leond said sounding surprised.

At his words every one seemed to freeze.

The woman laughed, "heaven's no. I am in Washington, however so are at least half a dozen Mossad agents. I have been dodging them since I left the airport, on Eli's order I'm sure. He seems to have gotten better over the years."

She sounded surprised, and honestly in a way she was.

"Dangerous?" Leond said carefully choosing his words as not to give his audience to much information.

"Oh I'm sure he wanted to give them all kill orders," she said laughing openly. "But even dear Eli knows better than that. No I think they are hoping I will lead them to her."

"You don't know where she is any more than they do."

The smile that had been spreading on her lips faltered, and Leon could hear it in her voice. "A fact I am well aware of."

"How long will this delay be?" Leon asked changing the subject.

"Give me three days, I'll lead them out of D.C, and then come to NCIS."

"How will you…"

"Three days Leon!" She said before hanging up.

Vance held the phone listening to the dial tone for several seconds before setting it down.

McGee was the first to speak, his arms still folded across his chest. "How long?"

"We have to keep Mossad busy for three days," Leon said standing.

"Do we really need her help?" Abby asked her words were sharp and it was easy to see why.

"She is the best chance we have of helping Ziva," Leon said gently.

The goth glared up at him for several seconds before she sunk into a chair beside Hetty.

"She's strong," Hetty said petting Abby's hand.

"Ziva doesn't deserve this," Abby said sadly.

None of them said anything in response, they knew she was right, but they knew there was nothing they could do.

* * *

Ziva starred into the mirror not completely sure she recognized the face starring back. She had been back in the states for a little over a month, and in Stillwater for less than a week of that, although some times it seemed much longer. Yet even now after a month of recovery she still felt sick, in fact she seemed to be getting worse. Perhaps she had come down with something. It would certainly explain how pale she was, and how nauseous.

She could hear Tony and Jackson moving around down stairs. Jackson had taken the opportunity, of Tony being in the store each day to use him to get things done. Ziva too had proven useful, but Jackson always had more for Tony to do than her. At first she had wondered why, but starring at her reflection she was pretty sure she knew.

Ziva paused at the top of the stairs, listening to the conversation below her unfold.

"She's usually up before me," Tony's voice said sounding concerned.

"I hope she stay's in bed, that girl looks like she could use the rest."

"Ziva's not really much for lazing around."

Jackson snorted. "She looks like hell and needs to sleep. If she comes down today looking as bad as she did yesterday I'll send her back to bed."

Ziva could picture the grin on Tony's face as he tried to imagine what it would look like to see Jackson try and send Ziva anywhere. Normally she would have gone down stairs and stayed their just on principle but her stomach did another summersault, and she was forced to rush back into the bathroom. Perhaps Jackson was right; maybe she should simply go back to bed.


	10. All in the family

A/N: First I just wanted to say I am so thankful to all of you who have reviewed…You are all absolutely amazing. Second I'm really sorry this chapter is so short, not usually my style but hey it happens. Third I'm thinking I will have to bump up my rating to M because of the next chapter, it's really angsty and dark…but hopefully you will all read it anyway. Much love to all of you.

Disclaimer: Do we really need to go through this again…I do not own NCIS I just wish I did.

* * *

She had said three days, and he had given her three days, and it was three days more than he could really afford. Leon stood in his office waiting. He knew that if Eli had his way she would be dead already and vice versa, but she was faster than Eli and had too much to risk by going after him blind.

Still Leon couldn't help but feel he had lit the match to a powder keg that would blow up in his face at any moment.

He had wasted most of the day sitting and waiting. Now it was getting late, and he had to make a choice so begrudgingly he picked up the phone and dialed his home number.

"Hello." Leon heard his wife's soft voice on the other end of the line and smiled.

"How was your day?" He heard her laugh on the other end.

"You're going to be late again," she guessed.

"I'm sorry."

He could see her smiling as she sighed and asked, "should I tell the kids not to wait up?"

"Tuck them in for me."

"I will, goodnight, I love you."

"I love you to." Leon smiled as he hung up the phone.

"How sweet," she said grinning at him from the door way.

He shouldn't really have been surprised to see her.

"I did suggest we should wait outside," she said shooting a playful smile at Hetty who stood by her side.

"I'm sure you did," Leon said coolly gesturing to the table and chairs.

The woman simply grinned and glided into the room. Her long dark curls fell down her back unrestrained, through the swaying curls Leon caught her dark brown eyes shining in amusement.

"Did you lose your trail?" Leon asked simply as he sat down across form her.

"Do you really think I would be here if I hadn't?" She demanded.

"Not unless you wanted them to know you were hear," Hetty said quietly.

All three people sat silently starring at each other.

"You called me Leon, not the other way." She reminded him sweetly.

As if he really needed reminding, he was already kicking himself for the decision.

"You know Eli better than anyone including Ziva."

The woman's eyes flashed dangerously. "Ziva saw what he wanted her to see, nothing more and nothing less."

"And yet here we are, because she finally saw something she wasn't suppose to." Leon said trying to keep the small smile threatening to appear off his lips.

"It was only a matter of time." She said with a smile.

"You're obviously pleased about it."

"Daddy's little angel finally realized her father isn't God. I wish I could have seen Eli's face when he realized she wasn't his tool anymore." She hissed angrily.

A loud knock was the only warning to the door swinging open to reveal Gibbs in the doorway.

His eyes briefly swept the room before falling on the stranger. Considering she had never met the man she was a little surprised by the hate and anger burning in the stare, but he loved Ziva so perhaps it wasn't so surprising.

She rose to her feet with a small sweet smile.

"Introduce us Leon, it doesn't seem fair that I know Agent Gibbs and he doesn't even know my name."

Gibbs moved quickly to stand inches from her the heat of his glare almost burning.

"I don't need to know your name." He said in a gruff voice. "Do what you have to do, but you leave her out of it."

"By her I assume you mean Ziva," the woman said with a small smile.

He continued to glare at her, and she realized why so many where intimidated by him.

"I can not leave her out of it agent Gibbs, she is the reason we are all here."

Without another word Gibbs turned on his heels and headed for the door. He'd never hit a woman but she just might be the one for him to break that rule.

"Agent Gibbs!" She called and he stopped in the doorway and she stopped right behind him.

"It's Amira."

"What?"

"My name."

"Lady I don't give a damn what your name is, you stay away from Ziva. She doesn't want to see you, Eli or anyone else from Mossad."

"You can't keep me away from her Leroy." Amira said in a sweet voice.

Gibbs turned on her but she had already retreated into Vance's office.


	11. Nightmares and Dreamscapes

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!!

A/N: Okay I am so very sorry that it took so long to have this chapter up but it was really hard for me to write. I love Ziva so it was hard putting her through this. I have two different finals of this chapter and I have decided to post the least graphic of the two. Which is why this is still rated T…if anyone is interested in reading the original let me know, but I will have to post it separately.

Disclaimer: Believe me if I owned NCIS then Tony and Ziva would have broken rule 12 many times and would probably be wearing matching rings. =) Sadly I do not and they have done neither…(at least as far as we know)

* * *

_The haze of hell came back with so much clarity that Ziva sobbed. The room was dark, it always was. He didn't want her to know how long she had been with him. Didn't want her to know that her life was passing away as certainly as the sun was rising and falling behind the black wall's of the hell he had made her. _

_The smell of dried blood, sweat, and vomit, saturated her, turning her already twisting stomach over and over. She tried to steady her breathing and prayed that she wouldn't throw up again. _

_Her body ached. The familiar haze of unconsciousness danced across her mind. Perhaps this time when she passed out she would be lucky, maybe this time she wouldn't wake up. _

_The rope around her wrists dug deeply into her skin bringing an ever present reminder of every second of her past and the promise of her future with him. She had come to judge his visits as nightmares different only in the sense of a nightmare of hell and the reality. _

_Even through her one usable eye, Ziva can still see the outline of her last round of torture. Her blood is sprayed like a painting across both the walls and floor, and she suspected the ceiling also, but she couldn't raise her head to see. The physical pain was nothing; she had come to hope for it. Pray for it, because she would rather the beatings than the feel of him inside her. _

_Heavy metal dragging against metal interrupted her silent hell. Ziva closed her eyes and began to mentally shut down._

_She could hear his voice whisper in her ear. Could feel the touch of his hands on her broken body, but she blocked it out. Focused on the walls she had built in her mind to block the pain, the grief, and the overwhelming sickness that always came when he was there. She distanced her mind from her body even as his cold laughter danced across her skin and the pain began again with rough kisses that promised things she wished she couldn't give._

It's her own sobbing that pulls Ziva back from her nightmare. Her blankets are thrown across the floor and she shivers as the chill of the night brushes across her sweaty skin.

Almost instantly she rushes to the bathroom to empty her stomach several times.

Her body shakes as she sits with her head on her knees on the cool tile floor. Slowly she struggles to her feet and turns the shower on.

The water is to hot, and it burns her skin but she doesn't turn it down. Ziva scrubs at her body trying to make it clean but knowing that it never will be. After a hundred tries what is left of her rational mind knows that it's clean. After a thousand scorching showers she knows that his touch has been washed away, but she can still feel it, can still feel his body against her so she scrubs harder making the skin turn an angry red.

A combination of the heat, pain, and nausea makes her dizzy. Shutting off the water she leans against the cold tile wall. It feels like ice against her skin as she sinks to the floor. Ziva sits there cold, naked, and wet sobbing into her knees until there is nothing left to cry. All her tears have been spent, and her chest aches from the lack of oxygen.

She drags herself up onto shaky legs and dries her chilled body.

Jackson's voice rings in her mind, _"Talk to him kid. He will forgive you if you don't, but you might not be able to forgive yourself if you don't."_

The sky outside was still to dark, and her nightmare to fresh. Ziva knew she couldn't sit alone in the darkness.

She hesitates outside his door. Its three am he is probably sleeping, but she has made it this far. She knocks softly, hoping he will answer and praying that he wont.

Tony opens the door to quickly, and she had knocked to softly. There was no way he had been asleep. He doesn't seem surprised to see her. In fact he looks relieved.

"We need to talk…" she says softly.

He steps aside silently and allows her in, knowing that he was finally getting the answers he wasn't sure he wanted.


	12. Whole truths and half lies

Tony stares at the woman before him, in her baggy sweats and t-shirt. She is beautiful even in her messy bed attire, and in any other circumstances he would laugh, tease or at least smile, but her face is pale under the normal deep bronze and her eyes are red. The dark rings under her eyes make it look like she hasn't slept in days, although that seems all she has done.

"We need to talk," she whisper's her eyes not quite meeting his.

Her voice shakes and she glances up at him as if afraid he will turn her away, his voice catches in his throat so he silently steps aside and let's her in, she brushes past him to stand at the foot of his bed feeling awkward.

Tony knows that he is finally getting the answers he isn't sure he wants, to the questions that he knows he hasn't asked yet.

Ziva watches him close the door quietly and comes to stand before her, with questioning eyes. Her heart catches in her chest and her stomach rolls. Jackson was right there is a difference between truth and honesty, but there is also a difference between knowing what you have to do and actually doing it.

* * *

Eli is furious. He didn't know how Vance could be so stupid, or how his agents could have been fooled so easily, but most of all he was angry with himself for being so blind. Of course that witch of a woman would make her way into this. She had always had a knack for doing exactly what he didn't expect and often what he didn't want, it was why he had loved her then, and why he hated her now.

Slowly Eli turned to the boy beside him. In truth he was no more a child than Ziva, but he was easy enough to manipulate. His feelings for Ziva had always clouded his judgment perhaps this time for the best.

Ben Gidon watched Eli pace around the dimly lit hotel room. The fact that Amira was here, apparently working with NCIS to keep Ziva hidden was anything but encouraging, not that he would dare breathe that aloud, with Eli standing beside him.

The old man was beyond angry. Not that Gidon blamed him. He could only imagine Ziva's reaction to seeing that particular ghost appear in her life again. He knew her well enough to know she was already angry that Mossad was trying to find her, without adding Amira to the mix. Now the chances of Eli convincing her to return home seemed completely empty.

Gidon had agreed the moment Eli had told him he was going to try and convince her to come home, it wasn't until they were in the united states, that Gidon realized Eli intended to bring her home with or without her consent. It didn't surprise him, not really, but he wasn't sure he wanted to be apart of it anymore. Unfortunately Mossad did not offer a choice.

"She would never agree to allow Amira help keep her from me." Eli said almost to himself. His daughter may hate him, but he was sure she hated Amira more. "Which means Vance and Gibbs must be keeping it from her."

Gidon didn't miss the light in Eli's eyes or the twist of his smile.

"We may not need to find Ziva." Eli said turning to face the window. "When she finds out Amira is here, she will come back to D.C."

He learned a long time ago that keeping your mouth shut is the best way to deal with Eli David, but this time Gidon couldn't help it.

"If they are keeping it from her, how will she find out?"

Eli turned to face the younger man, and Gidon had to suppress the flinch his body moved to make.

"Because Amira will demand to see her, as much as I have been, and if Vance want's her help he will have to let her."

* * *

"Zvia?" Tony asks gently, breaking the harsh silence between them.

She flinches and Tony can't help but wonder why she looks so afraid. He feels something inside him twist, he hates that she is looking at him like that. As if he may reach out and hit her any second.

"I don't know how…" she begins her voice soft. "I don't know how to tell you."

Tony moves forward but stops as she backs away her hands up trying to keep the space between them even as she stares at the floor hoping it will devour her.

"Tell me what Ziva?" He asks already knowing the answer.

"Somalia." With one word she brings a cold chill through the room.

Ziva glances up at him and gets caught in his stare. They both know what is coming but neither knows how to go about it. Silence falls between them again, and this time they don't know how to break it.

After several minuets Tony realizes that she is shaking. Her eyes are set on the ground in between them, but his eyes are on her and he can't tear his them from her.

"I don't know how," she whispers again raising her head slowly. "I want to be honest with you Tony but I don't know how."

Tony closes the space between them and wraps his arms around her pulling her into a gentle hug. He ignores the flinch and the way she stiffens and instead focuses on staying very still. After several seconds which feels like hours she rests her head on his shoulder relaxing into his arms. The tension that he can still feel in her body is forgotten for the moment, and he is thankful she trusts him enough to stay in his arms.

"Just start talking," he says softly. "Start from the beginning and just talk."

"Tony," she murmurs into his shoulder, "I do not know if I can."

"I'll be here." He promises. "No matter how long it takes. I will be here Ziva."

Ziva closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "It was supposed to be my aliyah. He told me I had to prove myself, and I thought he was right…"

----------------

A/N: sooo…that's two chapters in one night, am I forgiven for being late on my update…Puppy eyes… lol. Ok so as always thank you for reading and please review. I don't know if you like it or not unless you press the pretty green button and tell me.


	13. Questions and anwsers

**Chapter Thirteen: Question and answer**

* * *

_"I don't know how. I don't know how to tell you."_

_ "It was supposed to be my aliyah. He told me I had to prove myself, and I thought he was right…"_

Tony listened in silence the strangled emotions in his chest suffocating him as she talked into his shoulder.

He could tell she was skirting around the worst of it, even as the memories came crashing back to her. He tried to hide the shaking; he didn't want her to know how angry he really was. He didn't want to scare her into silence.

Finally Ziva fell into silence. She had left out so much but she couldn't bring herself to tell him the details. His grip on her shoulders had stiffened as she spoke and now he felt frozen beside her. Part of her was afraid to look at him to see his reaction, but she needed to see his eyes.

Tony felt her raise her head slightly and glanced down to look at her. She smiled carefully tears glittering her beautiful deep brown eyes.

How could he tell her, that Saleem had died too quickly? He couldn't. It wouldn't help her, so instead he simply kissed her forehead lightly.

Ziva sighed into his shoulder. She could tell he was trying hard to control himself. Trying not to react to what she had just told him. In a way she was glad, there was no way that she could deal with it.

"What are you leaving out Ziva?" Tony asked softly into her hair.

Ziva stilled in his arms as her nightmare came back with horrific clarity. Her stomach twisted and she pulled herself from the warmth and safety of Tony's arms. This was what she had been dreading. The part of Somalia she could not confront with someone's hands on her, even if they were Tony's gentle ones.

Ziva turned her back on him and starred at the painting on the wall.

Tony wanted to step forward and capture her with his arms again, having not wanted to let her go in the first place but he knew better. He knew what she was going to say before she spoke. He had been a cop to long not to recognize what the slumped shoulders and arms tight across her chest meant; suddenly he was glad she wasn't looking at him because there was no way for him to hide the emotions that passed on his face as she spoke softly.

"They were soldiers, all of them. No women were allowed inside the impound, it was distracting. So when they brought me, his men wanted…wanted me." Ziva's voice shook as she spoke but she couldn't control it. "But he wouldn't let them. He wanted me to himself."

Ziva's shoulders began to tremble as she began to cry softly. "I couldn't…I didn't…"

"Ziva," Tony's voice was steady but rougher than he wanted. "This is not your fault. You couldn't have done…"

"I stopped fighting!" She snapped turning to him, her face burned with shame but her anger was greater than her shame. Somewhere in her mind she knew it wasn't Tony she was angry with but she couldn't stop. "I stopped fighting him. I just … I just prayed he would kill me and it would be over but I didn't fight him Tony I didn't stop him."

She glared at him breathing heavily for several seconds before what she had just done caught up with her.

Tony saw the shadow fall in her eyes as she turned to leave. He knew better than to touch her but he'd be damned if he was going to let her leave.

He reached the door just as she did and he held a hand on the cool wood to keep her from opening it.

"Tony," her voice was a soft warning growl but he didn't budge.

"Tony," she growled again.

Still Tony made no move to let her pass. He stood silently only inches from her silently. He wanted her to look at him, she knew it, and he knew she knew it, but he wouldn't tell her to.

"Tony please," her voice was softer this time almost pleading, but instead of letting her go he spoke softly.

"Look at me."

Ziva's head hung in shame as she turned slowly to look at him.

His eyes burned and she flinched involuntarily.

He starred down at her silently. Tony knew what he wanted to tell her but didn't know how to say it.

Slowly he raised his hand to touch her face, when she didn't stop him; he ran a finger down her cheek lightly.

"You did nothing wrong, nothing."

Her bottom lip trembled slightly as she said, "I am a soldier."

"You're more than a soldier," Tony said trying to keep his voice even. Damn Eli David and his conditioning. "Let me help you Ziva, please."

He was startled when she fell into his arms crying, not because it was a strange response, but because he had never been so glad to see someone fall apart as he was now.

Ziva clutched at his shirt holding him close to her, she needed him. Neither of them really understood it, but Ziva knew that he was the only one that could chase the memories away, and Tony wouldn't want anyone else to try.

* * *

Abby and McGee fell silent as Gibbs appeared in her lab. The two looked at each other guiltily as he approached. Gibbs paused looking from one to the other before smiling slightly.

"Tell me," he said simply.

They looked at each other then back at Gibbs, before nodding and turning back to the computer.

* * *

Vance told her to stay away, almost pleaded with her. She was going to make it harder, make it worse for all of them, and he was right, what she was doing would do exactly that. Eli would say it was because she was sadistic, Vance that she wanted to prove him wrong, Ziva would say she was doing to spite them all, and she would tell them it was because she couldn't resist, but the truth was much more complicated than that.

Eli starred at the woman before him and tried to push aside almost twenty years of love, lust, and anger.

She wore a brilliant blood red dress that clung to her small frame. Her dark brown hair fell down in waves across her shoulders, but he refused to stare. He wouldn't notice how her dark eyes danced in the fire's light as she watched him; or how she bit her lip nervously as she glanced at the men beside him.

Following her gaze he waved his men away. Amira had come to him alone, the least he could do was save face, and face her alone.

None of the Mossad agents dared to dispute Eli's order, beside's none of them wanted to be in the building for this, let alone in the same room.

"Take a seat," Eli said offering Amira a chair.

"Eli," she whispered through a smile, her voice rolled his name lightly and he tried to ignore the brush of her fingers as she took a seat.

"Now tell me why you are here?" Eli said coolly as he sat across from her.

"We both know why," Amira said gently.

"Perhaps I want to hear you say it." Eli nodded slightly in her direction.

Amira tried to hide the small smile, Eli was the only man that could make her smile no matter how hard she tried not to, and that was part of the reason they so rarely were in the same wrong. Perhaps they were both afraid they would forgive and try to forget again. Yet now they had little choice.

"Ziva."

It was all the answer he needed. "You have no business with her."

"I have as much right as you."

"She doesn't want you here," he growled.

Amira smirked, "or yourself yet here we are."

He watched her in silence and Amira felt as if she were under a microscope. She watched as his eyes softened slightly, and stood quickly.

"I am going to find her Eli." She said it with her back to him as she headed for the door.

"I can't let you do that."

"Then you will have to stop me Eli," Amira said pausing at the door but she didn't dare turn to look back at him.

"She is my daughter," Eli said softly.

"Just as she is mine, and I will find her Eli, I have to."

* * *

A/N: ^_^ I know that some of you saw that coming but for everyone else surprise. No one has ever mentioned Ziva's mother (please correct me if I'm wrong), and I couldn't resist. Just to be clear, Amira = Ziva's mum.

Oh and the other version of chapter eleven has been posted separately. It's called Nightmares and Dreamscapes if anyone is interested in reading it.


	14. Intervention

Abby and McGee fell silent as Gibbs appeared in her lab. The two looked at each other guiltily as he approached. Gibbs paused looking from one to the other before smiling slightly.

"Tell me," he said simply.

They looked at each other then back at Gibbs, before nodding and turning back to the computer.

"Okay but you have to hear me out first, before you react badly." Abby said in a rush.

"Abbs."

"Tim and I were thinking the best way to keep Mossad from taking Ziva would be to ensure that she can stay here even if Mossad made it an order."

"She's already resigned Abby, but Mossad is still coming after her."

"Gibbs you're missing the bigger picture." Abby said happily turning in her chair to face him. "We are trying to make it so no one can ever make her leave."

Gibbs looked at McGee his eyes demanding an explanation.

"We are trying to get her citizenship expedited," McGee said quickly as he turned back to the computer, his fingers glided over the keyboard without hesitation.

Gibbs looks between the two of them and for a moment. McGee felt a lump grow in his throat wondering if they had crossed a line.

Finally after several seconds Gibbs smiled and left the lab saying, "good work."

Abby smacked McGee hard on the arm, the moment Gibbs was gone, "told you we should have told him."

* * *

Jackson turned back to his bedroom moving almost silently through the dark hallway; neither of his guests having ever noticed his presence out side the door.

He wasn't eves dropping really. Just checking on them, he cared for them, and Leroy had left them in his care. Yet as her words had begun to tumble out mixed with almost silent sobs; Jackson knew it wasn't his place. This was something the two of them had to come to on their own, and not he, Leroy, or that girl's stupid father could undo what had already started.

Jackson closed his door quietly and returned to his comfortable bed smiling to himself. They would work it out. It would be hard certainly, but they would do it, and they would both be alright. They would look after each other.

* * *

McGee and Abby entered Vance's office pausing in the doorway when they noticed Gibbs already seated inside. They shared a silent look of surprise before joining him at the table.

"I just received a call about something I'm sure none of you have anything to do with," Vance began his eyes settled firmly on Abby and McGee.

They both remained silent as he continued.

"Something about an American citizenship, being processed faster than normal, and by normal I mean in less than a week, but I'm sure neither of you know anything about that do you?"

Abby met Vance's stare as she spoke. "You said it yourself time is of the essence."

McGee tensed waiting for the reprimand that never came. Instead Vance allowed them a small smile. He slid a small stack of paper work across the desk to rest in between them.

"Its all taken care of, the only thing we need is her signature,"

The room was deathly quiet for several seconds, as everyone processed what Vance had said. When Abby squealed loudly and launched herself into his arms Vance knew they understood. He met Gibbs eyes and the two men gave a slight nod. Yes they understood perfectly.

* * *

It had taken him almost two weeks of what felt like wasted time. She seemed to have disappeared into the wind. It took two weeks but it was finally done. He knew where she was, and it was now simply a matter of retrieving her. It was going to be over very soon.

* * *

A/N: Okay so this story is coming to a close there will probably only be about two more chapters maybe three, considering they are really long…but the way I think I'm going to end it will leave the possibility of a sequel. Of course only if you guys are interested…=)


	15. Cold masks and clever charades

A/N: Okay so there will be two more chapters of this story =( but I'm already working on the sequel =) Thanks to everyone who has stayed with me this long I really appreciate you guys. As always enjoy.

Disclaimer: Well Christmas came and went and I still didn't get NCIS…sighs…but I did get the latest season and season one of the Mentalist…*does a happy dance* so I suppose I will have to settle…

* * *

**Ziva feels her chest tighten as the bell rings signaling the door to the shop opening. It's much too late for customers, so it has to be them. Yet even knowing what is about to happen she still can't quite believe it has come down to this. **

* * *

The room was almost dark as he slipped inside. Gibb's knew better than anyone that walking in on a woman while she was sleeping was stupid, and walking in on a woman who owned and could use a gun was asking for trouble, but walking in on a frightened woman who could kill a man with her bare hands was suicide. Yet as he paused beside her bed to flick on the lamp he didn't hesitate.

"Ziva," Gibb's voice wakes her up in the middle of the night.

She had been dreaming, although she wasn't sure about what.

"Gibbs?" Her voice reflects that she is only now penetrating the layer between sleep and alert.

He touches her hand lightly, and isn't surprised by the slight flinch and apologetic look she gives in return.

Gibbs gives her one of his rare smiles and says softly, "we need to talk Ziva."

He can see by the sudden concern in her eyes that she is awake enough to understand. He pulls away and allows her to climb slowly out of bed.

Ziva follows him downstairs to where Jackson and Tony already sit both with coffee mugs in their hands. Hers is sitting in front of an empty chair waiting for her, and she smiles at Tony silently thanking him.

Gibbs takes his place beside her and begins to explain. He tells her about Eli, about Mossad, leaving Amira's involvement until last.

With every word she seems to pale slightly but her eyes are set, and her breathing steady. Ziva doesn't react until Gibbs says her mother's name. She feel's her body unintentionally stiffen. Yet some how it is only when he is finished that she stands and leaves the table without so much as a word.

The scraping of chairs warns her that someone is following and isn't surprised when Gibbs warning voice says, "DiNozzo."

"I have to," was his only reply as Tony followed her back upstairs.

* * *

Ziva snapped the bathroom door shut and locked it before falling to her knee's and empting her stomach.

She was shaking uncontrollably suddenly feeling cold all over. It was several seconds before she registered Tony knocking on the door begging her to open it.

There was no way she would allow him to see her like this, so instead she snapped as angrily as she could, "go away DiNozzo."

Tony cringed at the use of his last name; they had finally gotten past the anger, only to come full circle again, but he wasn't willing to give up the progress they had made. Even knowing she wanted to.

"Ziva, you know I'm not going to do that." He said as gently as he could.

Silence was the only answer.

"Ziva common don't make me break the door down." Tony said a smile creeping onto his face.

Ziva pressed her head against the cool tiles and smiled. Something's really would never change, but perhaps that was a good thing. He wasn't the same old Tony, and she certainly wasn't the person she had been, but this was familiar ground. The teasing banter had always been there, and it was good to know it still was.

When the lock on the door clicked, Tony felt himself relax slightly.

Ziva stood in the door way starring at the man before her. He was her partner, and her best friend, but she had to ask.

"Did you know?"

"About your mother?"

Ziva tensed but nodded slowly.

"No. I didn't know anything about what was going on in D.C, any more than you did."

She dropped her gaze to the floor, and Tony had to resist the urge to pull her into his arms. She looked tired, but it was more than that. Everything that had weighed on her since Somalia played on her face as she starred down at the tile floor, along with some pain that was much older. One he had only see passing glances of until now.

"I do not know if I can face them both," Ziva said slowly her eyes still focused on the ground.

She didn't need to tell him who she meant, he knew it was her parents, and he couldn't blame her.

"Come here," Tony said opening his arms for her.

Ziva stepped into them with out hesitation. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that they were dancing on a dangerous line, they had already crossed it once, but they could not cross it again.

"We'll figure it out," he promised her, and Ziva found herself believing him. She had to, because the alternative wasn't one she could except or deal with.

-------------------

The bell chimed as the door to the store opened, and Ziva has to remind herself to breath. She will not allow him to see her shaken; she will not give him that power over her. Not ever again.

"Shalom Eli," Ziva says her voice strangely calm as he approaches her.

"Shalom Ziva, I've come to take you home."

He seemed older somehow, and for a brief second Ziva allowed herself to wonder if maybe these past months had been hard on him too, but she quickly pushed the thought away. If she allowed herself to wonder about him, she would begin to miss him again, and standing here knowing what he wanted from her, Ziva could not allow it.

She glared at Eli at a loss for words, and tried to hide the pain the sight of him brought colliding with her chest.

"You are coming back to D.C." He said simply his shoulders set stubbornly.

She recognized it as an order, and growled, but before she could actually respond a voice appeared out of the shadows in the back of the store, and Ziva felt herself relax. She did not have to fight this battle, they were going to do it for her.

"She'll be coming back with us, Eli." Gibbs said moving to stand at Ziva's side.

Jackson and Tony appeared at on her other side, and she felt Tony's hand touch the small of her back sending a small chill through her. Ziva stiffened, keeping herself from leaning into his touch.

Eli looked over each of the men standing around her before his eyes fell once again on his daughter. He gave a small nod and smile as he said, "for now."


	16. Broken goodbyes

Ziva watched as the city grew closer. She had somehow ended up in the backseat after Gibbs had pointedly refused to allow her to drive.

Eli had his men watching them for the remainder of the night, after he left, and all morning while they packed the car. They hadn't even tried to hide themselves and Ziva knew why.

They believed they had already won. They were simply there to make her and the others uncomfortable, and judging by Tony's reaction they were succeeding only in making him angry.

Ziva knew there was something she was missing. Eli had been to willing to allow her to ride back with her team.

He knew something that she didn't. That none of them did.

This knowledge came with the creeping fear that perhaps her old team mates from Mossad were right. Perhaps Eli had already won, and they simply didn't know it yet.

* * *

They had been back in D.C for less than an hour when Eli appeared in the bullpen with two other Mossad agents that Ziva recognized from her days in security.

Gibbs, Tony, and McGee all rose as he came in with a smug smile, but Ziva remained still.

He had won. His self confidence was radiating from him, and Ziva knew that look. She had seen it many times, but only when he had captured his prey.

Vance's face was a blank wall as he approached them with Abby and Ducky at his sides.

Ziva pushed back the tears threatening. She knew what was going to be said long before anyone began to speak. It was over.

Tony starred from Vance to Eli unblinking. The lump in his throat moved to his chest, as the dull ache in his chest began to feel more and more like a knife being drove into his heart.

"She is still part of Mossad, and therefore under my jurisdiction." Eli growled.

"She resigned from Mossad." Gibbs said his voice coldly calm.

"Eli has presented us with an ultimatum." Vance said silencing both Gibbs and Eli by turning to Ziva. "If you don't go with him willingly now, when he returns to Israel he will have you brought up on charges of treason."

The silence that echoed through the bullpen was deafening and Ziva looked to Eli her eyes guarded.

"I do not believe I ever said such a thing Leon. You are putting words in my mouth."

Eli caught his daughter's gaze and for a moment he was sure he had seen disappointment before her old shields were back in place and she was looking at Vance.

"The united states can not harbor an Israeli traitor no matter what the circumstances?"

It wasn't really a question, she knew the answer, they all did, but someone had to say it. Someone had to tell her it was over because even knowing it she didn't want to admit it.

"No, we can't."

"You would rather see her dead or in prison than happy?" Tony demanded angrily starting toward Eli.

Ziva reacted the fastest putting herself between Tony and Eli.

"Tony don't," Ziva's voice was soft but stern as she placed a small hand on his chest.

"He's not going to take you," Tony growled sure that the anger radiating from him should physically burn the other man.

"No he's not." Ziva said drawing all eyes to her including Tony's, "because I'm going to go voluntarily.

"No," suddenly it seemed they were the only ones in the room.

"I have to."

"We will find away to…"

Ziva shook her head, and Tony broke off.

"I don't want to lose you again."

Ziva dropped her gaze from his, she had to. She banished the tears in her eyes as she turned to the rest of her team.

Ducky opened his arms to her, and for a moment Ziva fell into them. The memory of a hazy night of drinking in some nameless bar, while trying to forget about Tony and his girlfriend flashed in Ziva's mind. Ducky had stayed at the bar with her all night. She had drunk far too much, and started rambling. He had given her a knowing smile, and told her he would take her home. He never said it, but they both knew she had unintentionally told him of feelings she wasn't ready to admit to.

When Ziva pulled herself from Ducky's arms in the bullpen he wore that same sad knowing smile. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and whispered, "take care."

They both knew it was an empty sentiment, she was going to die very soon, but the only way any of them could do this was if they pretended they didn't know it.

McGee's arms were the next ones she felt herself being enveloped in.

He was holding her too tightly, and she realized he had been waiting to hug her since they saved her in Somalia. McGee had been trying to give her the space she needed.

"Thank you Tim," she whispered softly.

"Always."

Ziva wasn't sure if he knew what she was thanking him for and pulled away to tell him, but the pain in his eyes silenced her. He knew, and Ziva gave him a small tender smile. He wasn't a child, he knew.

Abby was already sobbing, when Ziva wrapped her arms around the younger woman.

"I've always thought of you as a sister, Abby, and my friend."

The goth drew back to look at Ziva in the eyes, "even when you thought I hated you?"

Ziva laughed it hurt and brought the tears she had pushed aside back to her eyes. The memory of the computer jigsaw puzzle flashed through her mind. They had been up all night trying to put the stupid thing back together. Abby's pain over loosing Kate had kept her from being friendly towards Ziva, but in one night that had changed.

They had both accepted then that they would never be best friends, but that perhaps they could be friends at least.

"I was wrong then," Abby told Ziva pulling her into a deathly tight hug. "You are my best friend."

"Me to Abby." Ziva handed the younger woman to McGee who pulled her into his arms tightly.

Ziva wasn't sure what to expect when she turned to face Gibbs, and was surprised to find herself suddenly in his arms.

Memories suddenly flooded her, and she felt the tears spill down onto his shirt.

In the hospital after he had lost his memory and almost his life, she had gone to him. She had never intended to fall apart but seeing him stare blankly up at her had broken something inside of her, and when she had started explaining about Ari she had lost control. Gibbs had wrapped her in his arms and pulled her close, just as he was doing now.

When Gibbs finally released her, Ziva's tears where gone from her eyes, he kissed her lightly on the head, and she found herself praying he wouldn't come after her again.

It must have shown in her face because he gave her one of his rare smiles.

"Look after them," she pleaded, and after a long agonizing moment he nodded.

Relief swept through her. They wouldn't be coming to Israel after her; they would be safe from Mossad, and Eli. Gibbs would make sure of it.

When she turns around Tony is there. He's standing much closer than before. The wave of memories and emotions are enough to make her break down, but instead she forces a calm edge to her voice and a soft smile.

"Do I get a goodbye from my partner?"

He stepped closer and Ziva tensed. Surly he wasn't stupid enough to kiss her in front of not only Eli but Gibbs, and Vance.

His fingers brush her cheek and she can't keep her eyes from flickering closed.

"Ziva," his voice is shaky but it brings her back to herself.

"Goodbye Tony."

She doesn't wait for him to respond, afraid of what he might say or do. Ziva won't let herself cry as Eli takes her into custody and leads her away from her family. She knows she won't be able to cry for them again, he wouldn't let her and she's not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing he finally broke her.

* * *

Tony stares after them in silence, and as the elevator doors close he lashes out. The trashcan goes flying across the bullpen and makes a loud cracking sound when it collides with the brick wall of the building.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs warns.

"We can't just let her go!" Tony shouts angrily storming off.

He doesn't wait to hear their reply. It's not their fault he knows its not, but anger isn't any different justified or not.

* * *

No one is surprised when Tony goes after her, but what surprises them is Vance. The second Eli and Ziva are in the elevator and Tony has stormed off somewhere else he turns to the team.

"We have until nine tomorrow to get her back."

They all stare at him; Abby still in McGee's arms with tears running down her face.

Gibbs steps towards him so there are only a few inches of space between the two men's faces.

"Do we have a plan Leon?" he asks.

Vance stares at him for several seconds before removing the tooth pick and giving Gibbs a small smirk that is so unlike him, "do you really think I'm going to let your and your team go tromping threw Israel to get her back?"

There was silence for several seconds after Leon walked away, none of them able to process what just happened. What exactly does he know that they don't?

* * *

A/N: I am so very sorry that it has taken me so long to update…my muse is just not cooperating at the moment. I'm not sure this chapter reflects how painful the separation really is for each of them, but I hope you enjoy it none the less.


	17. Homeward bound

A/N: Okay so this is the last chapter for this story =( but as you know I've started work on the sequel. If you are all still interested then I will be posting it in a week or so. It's called _Shadows in the light _and will pick up where this story leaves off. So please enjoy and let me know if you want to see a sequel to this one. =)

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, because if I did, well this season would look more like this story, and less like last season never happened (just my opinion but there you go).

* * *

She didn't flinch when the door slammed shut behind him, in fact she stilled as if frozen in place.

It was so unlike him to let his anger get the better of him that Amira knew what had happened without asking or needing to look up to see his face.

"They took her." She said simply not really meaning it to be a question.

"You knew they would." Leon said sinking into his chair carefully placed behind his desk.

"Eli is many things but he isn't stupid. He knows that if I'm here his window is limited, I don't want him to have her any more than you do."

"For a very different reason," Gibbs growled slipping in through Vance's door without bothering to knock.

"Does it really matter agent Gibbs?" Amira asked turning in her chair to face the irritated man.

He glared at her in silence for several seconds before returning his attention to the director. "Tony just left the building, McGee went with him to try and calm him down. He's going to go after her Leon."

"Of course he is," Amira smiled knowingly at the two men before her, "but that shouldn't really surprise either of you."

"Are you here to help or make trouble?" Gibbs demanded angrily turning to face the annoying woman that had been haunting them the last few weeks.

"I always come through, especially for a friend." Turning to Leon she handed him a sealed envelope.

Leon took it his eyes never leaving hers.

"It's all there. She's yours, and there is nothing that Eli David can do about it."

"And the treason charges," Leon began but Amira waved it away with one small hand.

"She has honorably retired from Mossad, and there will be no questions asked concerning neither her future occupation nor her residence. Ziva is safe from Mossad, and our government, those papers will insure it."

"Does Eli know?" Leon asked already knowing the answer.

Amira hesitated for a moment as if considering her answer before nodding slowly, "I believe so yes. He may try to move her early, so you should prepare."

"And the price for your assistence," Gibbs growled softly.

"Is expected to be paid in full," Amira snapped before quickly composing herself. "Of course I don't expect it immediately. You will have to get her away from Eli and settle her back down."

"How long Amira?" Vance asked his patience wearing thin.

Amira flashed them both a dangerous smile before standing to leave.

"I'll be back in six months Leon, and I expect everything you promised in full."

Both men watched her disappear threw the door in silence.

The repercussions would haunt them much longer than Amira's given six months, but for now at least they had what they needed to keep their people safe, and at least for now that would have to be enough.

* * *

"McGee," the young agent answered the phone trying not to sound relieved.

Gibbs could hear the relief in his voice and smiled into the dim light of the bull pen.

"Tell Tony we have it."

McGee sighed and didn't bother trying to hide it from his boss. "I will thanks boss."

"McGee, both of you get some sleep."

McGee smiled and nodded, "yes boss. Good night."

The click of the Gibb's phone as he shut it off was his way of saying good night, and for the first time in a long time, he regretted not saying the words.

McGee wouldn't sleep tonight any more than the rest of them. Tony would pace, Abby would bounce around trying to stay busy, and Gibbs, he would work on his boat and try not to think about the hundred ways tomorrow could go wrong.

* * *

Ziva stood silently in her locked hotel room. She suddenly felt like she was sixteen again, and being locked up for being caught sneaking out. It had been rare then that her father had caught her doing anything he disapproved of, not because she didn't do it, but because he had made it so easy to deceive him. Eli had wanted her to be deceptive, wanted her to be trained at everything that had made her a dangerous agent and a disobedient daughter.

At least that was what she had always thought, it wasn't until she was an adult that she realized he always knew and simply let her get away with it. The few times he caught her were simply his way of reminding her of his power, just as this was.

A simply reminder that he owned her, and that he always would.

* * *

Even in the early hours of the morning the airport was crowded with people. Ziva wouldn't be arriving until eight accompanied by her Mossad guards but they had decided to come early.

If it had been up to Tony they would have stayed at the airport all night, but Gibbs had given them all orders to get some sleep. Not that he or McGee had gotten any really, but at least they had tried.

It was almost two hours before his waiting was finally over. Two excruciating hours before the steady sound of Gibb's voice in his ear piece told Tony to go for it, and that they had his back.

Eli saw him before Ziva but she must have known by the way Eli rested a hand on her arm, because she turned searching for him, and didn't bother to hide the smile when she saw him walking towards her slowly.

* * *

"Ziva," Tony said allowing only a few feet of space between them.

Eli glowered at him but didn't speak to him; instead he muttered something to Ziva in Hebrew that caused her to laugh coldly.

"Where would I go Eli?" She demanded angrily. "Let me say good bye to him."

Ziva didn't really expect Eli to let her, so when his harsh grip on her arm slackened as he stepped away she was momentarily startled into silence.

When she recovered a few seconds later she closed the space between her and Tony and in a harsh whisper said, "Tony you shouldn't have come, he does not want you here."

"And what do you want Ziva?"

"I...what I want doesn't matter."

"It's the only thing that matters, Ziva."

She shook her head, she was to tiered for this. Her father had won. Despite everything she had done, and her team had done, Eli had gotten what he wanted. She was going back to Israel and if they did not charge her with treason, then he would insure she never returned to America under any circumstance.

"We have been through this, Tony. It is over. There is nothing that anyone can do. I must go with them."

"I followed you to Africa, Ziva and so help me I will follow you to Israel, Spain, where ever they send you because I will not let you walk out of my life again. I can't live without you."

As she listened to him, her eyes carefully adverted to anywhere but his face, the tears that had been threatening to fall for months brimmed her eyes, but she knew she could not fall apart here. For both their sakes she had to walk onto that plane, as coolly as she could. She had to become the perfect weapon that she had been a lifetime ago, but she had been so sure that part of her was dead.

His fingers brushed lightly across her cheek and with a single finger he raised her head to look up at him. She met his gleaming eyes evenly, and knew in an instant that Gibbs had been right all those months ago. She was not her father's weapon anymore; she could not and would not ever be again.

"Ziva, I can't live without you." His voice was hushed and his hot breath on her skin made her shiver. He must have seen it in her face because he broke out in a smile. "Stay with me Ziva."

Her mind flashed back to that night on the terrace, the first night that she had allowed herself to fall into his arms, and the heat in her cheeks flushed like fire.

"I can not, you know this. Why are you here Tony?" She asked her voice burning with pain. Why was he doing this to her? He knew it was not her choice. The choice had been taken from her, despite her best efforts.

"Do you want to stay with me?"

"Tony..."

"Do you want to stay?" He asked cutting across what she had began to say.

It would have been kinder to lie. It would have been easier on him to say that she wished to return to her old life. That leaving him, the team, and NCIS would not cause her any pain, and she may have been able to convince him. Maybe. Yet she didn't lie, instead she tormented them both with the truth one last time.

"Yes, more than anything."

Tony hadn't planned it, it was pushing both their lucks and he knew it, but at her almost silent declaration he couldn't stop himself. He lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers.

The kiss was far from chaste as he wrapped his arms around her waist, and she leant into him draping her arms around his neck. The warmth of her body against his sent him lost into a world he had only experienced with her. It was only when she broke away trying to catch her breath that he remembered that this was neither the time nor the place. So he dropped his hand from her waist and intertwined his with her own.

"Come back with me, back to the car, back to NCIS, back to my apartment, I don't care where, just walk out of this airport with me." He whispered into her ear.

She shook her head slowly even as her feelings crashed against her chest. "It is not that simple."

"Your wrong Ziva, we've made it that simple."

For the only the second time since arriving at the airport Tony lifted his gaze from Ziva looking to the double doors a few feet away. She followed his gaze, and felt her heart leap in her chest.

Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, and Vance stood by the doors with several other agents, their eyes fixed on her and Tony, and on her father and his Mossad agents.

"I don't understand," Ziva said slowly.

"Its not important right now, all that matters is if you walk out of here with me there is nothing your father can do to stop you."

Ziva looked back up at Tony surprised and disbelieving, but the intensity of his gaze convinced her, and while part of her felt sure it would be the last thing she ever did, she turned her back on her father one more time and walked toward the team, with Tony's hand still holding tightly onto her own.

The first few steps were the hardest, she didn't dare breath. Somehow she knew that his voice would ring out, or his hands would grab her to pull her back, but it never happened. She reached her team, her family in seconds that felt like years, and was immediately pulled into Abby's waiting arms.

She felt rather than saw Gibbs move to stand beside her, waiting patiently like a father waits for his child. He didn't speak, and he didn't need to. Simply knowing he was there was enough.

Soon Abby was ushering Ziva and the collection of agents out of the air port. All the while she could feel Eli David's eyes on her, like a heavy weight that she could not escape, but she did not look back.

If she had perhaps she would have seen the soldier that had always been her father melt away into a broken old man, which for the first time in his life, realized that the last of his family had finally been driven away. His loyal daughter had found a family, she wasn't going to turn around, she wasn't going to come back, and this time what he had missed with his children was more than their childhood. This time he would miss her.


	18. Authors Note: Sequel

A/N: I'm so sorry about the hiatus on the sequel to this story. It sort of got put on the back burner and left there. Now it's a little crispy but here. It's called _Shadows in the Light_. I hope that you enjoy it as much as you have this one, and I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this story. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me feed back. :D


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